Doughnuts Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders ahamburger.The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"and orders ahamburger.The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"

    Jelly Doughnuts

    Hot 4 years ago

    One time there was this woman who was very freaky. Instead of throwing away her old tampons, she put them in her closet. One day this guy who wasn't her husband was over, and they were gettin' it on. All of a sudden, her husband comes in the front door. She tells the guy to hide in the bedroom closet, and then she puts a chair in front of it so it couldn't be opened. Her husband comes upstairs with two tickets to Hawaii. They leave without packing anything, and are gone for a week. When they get back, her husband goes off to work and she runs up stairs to the closet. She apolgizes to him for leaving him in there. He calmy says,"That's alright. But if it wasn't for those jelly doughnuts in there, I would have starved."

    Why is it only
    on Passover night
    we never know how
    to do anything right?
    We don't eat our meals
    in the regular ways,
    the ways that we do
    on all other days.
    'Cause on all other nights
    we may eat
    all kinds of wonderful
    good bready treats,
    like big purple pizza
    that tastes like a pickle,
    crumbly crackers
    and pink pumpernickel,
    sassafras sandwich
    and tiger on rye,
    fifty falafels in pita,
    fresh-fried,
    with peanut-butter
    and tangerine sauce
    spread onto each side
    up-and-down, then across,
    and toasted whole-wheat bread
    with liver and ducks,
    and crumpets and dumplings,
    and bagels and lox,
    and doughnuts with one hole
    and doughnuts with four,
    and cake with six layers
    and windows and doors.
    Yes-
    on all other nights
    we eat all kinds of bread,
    but tonight of all nights
    we munch matzah instead.
    And on all other nights
    we devour
    vegetables, green more...

    A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, 'Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you....On your wat home from my office, stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts, Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you hit bulls-eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knew, you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue....Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at you husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut.'
    The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful. They told their friends, more...

    A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them.
    The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, ''Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue."
    He continued, ''Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut.''
    The couple went home and their sex life became more and more more...

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