Jewelry Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Engagement

    Hot 6 years ago

    A man walks into a jewelry store on a friday with a sexy blond on tow.
    "We would like to have a look at your ring collection" the man says to the jeweler.
    The jeweler shows him a couple of rings in the R10k range....
    "No" the man replies, "i'm looking for something REALLY nice".
    The jeweler then takes him to the back, into the safe and past the security guards to the seriously expensive rings.
    The man selects the most impressive one and asks the jeweler - -How much for this one?
    R250k replies the jeweler, while watching the blond's face light up like a christmas tree.
    OK, i will take it says the man, but can i pay by cheque?
    "I am afraid we do not accept cheques" replies the jeweler.
    OK says the man- How about i write you the cheque, then you keep the ring and the cheque until the cheque clears, and only then will we pick the ring up.
    Fantastic plan, says the jeweler!!
    Then the man leaves the jewelry more...

    Judi was walking by the jewelry store one day in the midtown mall. She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked. In the store she went.“Excuse me,” she said to the sales lady behind the counter, “Will a small deposit
    hold that bracelet until my husband does something unforgivable?”

    Martha Stewart vs Me

    Hot 3 months ago

    Martha Stewart vs Me... Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time. My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag. Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes. My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling. My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway? Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room more...

    A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. "Mother, where do babies come from? " The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex." The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, "That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey." The child seems to comprehend. "Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that? " "Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry."
    Jewelry "A mother is in the kitchen making supper for her family when her youngest daughter walks in.
    Child: Mother, where do babies come from?
    Mom: Well dear...a mommy and daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their room...they kiss and hug and have sex. (The daughter more...

    Jewelry

    Hot 8 months ago

    At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied,
    "No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."

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