Invested Jokes / Recent Jokes

Microsoft just invested $150 million in Apple stock. Why? We think the reasons are obvious:
Bill Gates found spare change in his trousers
First and last month's rent on empty office space in Cupertino
Fee: Steve Jobs to give charisma lessons to Microsoft CEO
Two words: Rhapsody 98
Small price to pay for world domination
Bill to Larry: I own you now, too
Jobs and Woz threw in a signed Apple I as part of the deal
Best way to assure Gates a starring role in next Pixar animated feature
Easier than bribing entire Justice Department
Strategic move: Apple users now hate Jobs more than Gates

Two old friends met one day after many years. One attended college, and now was very successful. The other had not attended college and never had much ambition. The successful one said, "How has everything been going with you?" "Well, one day I opened the Bible at random, and dropped my finger on a word and it was oil. So, I invested in oil, and boy, did the oil wells gush. Then another day I dropped my finger on another word and it was gold. So, I invested in gold and those mines really produced. Now, I'm as rich as Rockefeller." The successful friend was so impressed that he rushed to his hotel, grabbed a Gideon Bible, flipped it open, and dropped his finger on a page. He opened his eyes and his finger rested on the words, "."

A young man asked a rich old man how he had made his fortune.
The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was back in 1932, during the depth of the Great Depression. There I was, down to my last nickel."
"I invested that nickel in an apple and spent the better part of the day polishing that apple. At the end of the day, I sold it for ten cents."
"The following morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the whole day polishing them and sold them at 5:30PM for twenty cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I had accumulated a fortune of $8.40."
"And that's how you built your empire?" the young man asked.
"Gracious, no!" exclaimed the old man. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.""I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.""The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37.""Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

Santa invested 2 Lakhs in a business and suffered huge Losses.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Saloon in Punjab!

How You Made Money DownUp +13 A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5: 00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1. 37. ” “And that’s how you built an empire? ” the boy asked. “Heavens, no! ” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars. ”

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. "I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. "The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37." "And that's how you built an empire?" the boy asked. "Heavens, no!" the man replied. "Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."