Internet Service Provider Jokes

Being a hacker is kind of being a supermodel. Eventually you grow up and move on.

Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"

Text on Web pages display as Morse Code and...
Graphics arrive via FedEx.

You believe a heavier string might improve your throughput

You post a message to your favorite Newsgroup and it displays a week later.

Your credit card expires while ordering on-line.
Playboy web site exhibits "Playmate of the year"... for 1989.

You're still in the middle of downloading that popular new game, "Ping Pong".

Everyone you talk to on the' net phone' sounds like Forrest Gump.
You receive e-mails with stamps on them.

You click the "Send" button, a little door opens on the side of your monitor and a pigeon flies out.

Your opening line is: "So, what's your homepage address?"

You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 4. 0" on one of the clouds.

You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Webpage with no links.

You felt driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.

Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.

You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening towards the flimsy guardrail that separates you the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death, and you desperately look for the "Back" button.

You visit "The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything" again and again and again.

Your dog has his own webpage.

So does your hamster. When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to more...

"MAKE MONEY FAST" posts protected by 1st amendment.

Sun internet servers replaced with pentiums.

Dan Quayle appointed head of "bandwidth expansion tiger team".

Free netcom account with purchase of big mac.

Gameboy web browsers.

Two words: "Microsoft Network"

Rigorous user screening process abolished by America On-Line.