Grammar Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which.
    2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone new every five minutes.
    3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would.
    4) Act like a hillbilly. Period.
    5) Improvise Italian operas.
    6) Gossip about someone to their face.
    7) Answer every question with a question.
    8) Repeat yourself constantly.
    9) Act like a member of the opposite sex.
    10) Repeat yourself constantly.
    11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons.
    12) Repeat yourself constantly.
    13) Change what you repeat every now and then.
    14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks.
    15) Change what you repeat every now and then.
    16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else.
    17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries.
    18) Change what you more...

    1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
    1 to move it to the Lighting section
    2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
    7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
    5 to flame the spell checkers
    3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
    6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
    2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
    15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct
    19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
    11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we more...

    How many internet group posters does it take to change a light bulb?
    1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light
    bulb could have been changed differently
    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
    27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
    53 to flame the spell checkers
    41 to correct spelling/grammar flames
    6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"... another 6 to
    condemn those 6 as anal-retentive
    2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
    15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light
    bulb" is perfectly correct
    156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation
    of their "acceptable use policy"
    109 to post that this group is not about more...

    How many mailing list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb?
    1 to successfully change the light bulb and to post to the mail
    list that the light bulb has been changed.
    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how
    the light bulb could have been changed differently.
    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
    27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing
    light bulbs.
    53 to flame the spell checkers.
    156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light
    bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list.
    41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
    109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please
    take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb.
    203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and
    alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped.
    111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all more...

    I hate when people say supposevly. What the hell is supposevly? Do you mean supposedly? Also, do you know how stupid you sound when you say, "I could care less!"? Saying this means that you do care, and that it is possible for you to care less. What you mean to say is, "I could NOT care less!". Just a couple quick grammar lessons for idiots.

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