Intellectual Jokes
Funny Jokes
Two atoms were walking down the street...
Hot 4 years agoTwo atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron!
The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?"
Says the 1st atom, "I'm positive."
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Editor's note: I find it personally amusing that this joke is simultaneously an Intellectual joke, yet one of the stupidest jokes I've heard...If Poe were a Techie
Hot 5 years agoIF POE WERE A TECHIE
Once upon a midnight dreary,
fingers cramped and vision bleary,
system manuals piled high
and wasted paper on the floor,
longing for the warmth of bed sheets,
still I sat there, doing spreadsheets.
Having reached the bottom line,
I took a floppy from the drawer.
Typing with a steady hand,
I then invoked the "save" command
and waited for the disk to store,
only this and nothing more.
Deep into the monitor peering,
long I sat there wond'ring, fearing
while the disk kept churning,
turning yet to churn some more.
"Save!" I said, "You cursed mother!
Save my data from before!"
One thing did the phosphors answer
only this and nothing more, just,
"Abort, Retry, Ignore?"
With my fingers pale and trembling,
slowly toward the keyboard bending,
longing for a happy ending,
hoping all more...Shakespearean Insult Kit
Hot 4 years agoTHE OFFICIAL DO-IT YOURSELF SHAKESPEAREAN INSULT KIT
To construct a Shakespearean insult, combine one word from each of the three columns below, and preface it with' Thou':
Column 1. |. Column 2. |. Column 3
artless. |. base-court. |. apple-john
beslubbering. |. beef-witted. |. barnacle
bootless. |. beetle-headed. |. bladder
churlish. |. boil-brained. |. boar-pig
clouted. |. clay-brained. |. bum-bailey
craven. |. common-kissing. |. canker-blossom
dankish. |. dizzy-eyed. |. coxcomb
droning. |. doghearted. |. codpiece
fobbing. |. elf-skinned. |. flap-dragon
gleeking. |. flap-mouthed. |. foot-licker
goatish. |. fly-bitten. |. fustilarian
impertinent. |. fool-born. |. gudgeon
jarring. |. guts-griping. |. harpy
loggerheaded. |. half-faced. |. hedge-pig
mammering. |. hedge-born. |. hugger-mugger
mewling. |. idle-headed. |. lewdster
pribbling. |. ill-nurtured. |. more...Putdowns by Wrestler Bill "The Bard" Shakespeare
Hot 4 years ago1> "Hie thee away, scoundrel, lest this metallic vessel be oped; its whoop-ass forthwith unleash'd."
2> "Shall I compare thee to a summer's eve? For verily, thou art a douche-bag!"
3> "Unbridled envy wouldst thine ample codpiece inspire, save that it concealeth naught but a minnow."
4> "Get thee to a nunnery! For next to nun, methinks, is thy prospect of victory."
5> "Faugh! Thy putrid exhale couldst topple the carrion fowl from off his perch, atop a cart with human refuse laden."
6> "Thou mewling swag-bellied scullion! Thou wretched folly-fallen cutpurse! Most grievously doth thy visage offend the eye, thou droning flap-mouthed pignut!"
7> "Behind yon mask of red and gold, what coxcomb struts and frets in dainty tights, unswell'd by manly cord?"
8> "Of fruitless issue is thy ill-spoken slander! For elastic is my composition, whilst more...A quick SQL joke
Hot 8 years agoA SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables. He walks up to them and says' Can I join you?'
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- Intellectual JOKES-Clean Jokes [Archive] - Bahamas Issues Bahamian Web …1334Lets relax a bit. Got any clean intellectual jokes? Here is one for starters... The Driver after getting all of Pope John Paul's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), noticed that the Pope was still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Eminence," said the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"bahamasissues.com/…/t-913.html
- Intellectual Jokes [Archive] - Blender Artists Forums13515[Archive] Intellectual Jokes Off-topic Chatblenderartists.org/…/t-59276.html
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