Improve Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Poetic Love Letter

    Hot 1 year ago

    A Collegian was deeply in love with a foreign girl,
    whom he wanted to marry, but he did not have the
    courage to talk to her in person. so he decided to
    go home and with the aid of a dictionary, wrote a
    letter of proposal to her.
    this is what he wrote. .....
    my darling
    most worthy of your estimation, after a long
    consideration and much meditation, i have a strong
    inclination to become your relation.
    as to my educational qualification, it is no
    exaggeration or fabrication, that i have passed my
    matriculation, no doubt without any hesitation and
    very little concentrated preparation. what you say
    to the solemnization of our marriage celebration
    according to the population of the present generation.
    on your approbation of this application,
    i shall make preparation to improve my situation,
    and if such obligation is worthy of consideration
    and commiseration, it will be an augmentation of more...

    Margaret Thatcher joke

    Hot 6 years ago

    Here's a joke my uncle told me:
    Through some cosmic fluke, Reagan, Thatcher, and Gorbachev all died on
    the same day. Off they went to the gates of Heaven. Peter, seeing that
    these were all VIPs, sent them straight off to the Almighty.
    God, sitting on his throne, called up Reagan.
    "Ronald, my son, what have you to say for yourself?"
    "I tried to improve the US economy," replied Reagan, "and I did my best to
    benefit the nation."
    "Very well, my son, come up and sit beside me at my right hand."
    And so Reagan sat at his right.
    God then called up Gorbachev.
    "Mikhail, my son, what have you to say for yourself?"
    "I tried to make Soviet society more open," replied Gorbachev, "and I did
    my best to improve the Soviet economy."
    "Very well, my son, come up and sit beside me at my left hand."
    And so Gorbachev sat at his left.
    God then called up more...

    A musical director was encountering a lot of problems with one drummer. He talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance failed to improve.
    Finally, before the entire orchestra, the director said, "When a musician cannot handle his instrument and doesn't improve when help is given, they take away the instrument, give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
    At that, a whisper was heard from the percussion section, "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

    A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.
    Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
    A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

    A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

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