"Margaret Thatcher joke" joke

Here's a joke my uncle told me:
Through some cosmic fluke, Reagan, Thatcher, and Gorbachev all died on
the same day. Off they went to the gates of Heaven. Peter, seeing that
these were all VIPs, sent them straight off to the Almighty.
God, sitting on his throne, called up Reagan.
"Ronald, my son, what have you to say for yourself?"
"I tried to improve the US economy," replied Reagan, "and I did my best to
benefit the nation."
"Very well, my son, come up and sit beside me at my right hand."
And so Reagan sat at his right.
God then called up Gorbachev.
"Mikhail, my son, what have you to say for yourself?"
"I tried to make Soviet society more open," replied Gorbachev, "and I did
my best to improve the Soviet economy."
"Very well, my son, come up and sit beside me at my left hand."
And so Gorbachev sat at his left.
God then called up Thatcher.
"Margaret, my daughter, what have you to say for yourself?"
"Only two things," replied Thatcher.
"First of all, I'm not your daughter. Secondly, get out of my chair!"

A physician visited a California mental institution and asked a patient "How did you get here? What is the nature of your illness?"
He got this reply.
"It started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I got hitched to a widow with a more...

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2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
3. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
4. Dog for sale: eats anything and is more...

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After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family.
"But-where is your beard?" asks his mother upon seeing him.
"Mama," he replies, "in America, nobody wears a more...

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The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

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A Catholic priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were discussing sin, and the Methodist asked, "Tell me, guys, have you ever sinned and broken the laws of your religion?"
"I must admit," responded the Rabbi, "I was always very very curious about more...

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