Handgun Jokes / Recent Jokes
Assembler: You shoot yourself in the foot.Ada: The Department of Defense shoots you in the foot after offering you a blindfold and a last cigarrette.BASIC (interpreted): You shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol until your leg is waterlogged and rots off.BASIC (compiled): You shoot yourself in the foot with a BB using a SCUD missile launcher.C++: You create a dozen instances of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Not knowing which feet are virtual, medical care is impossible.COBOL: USE HANDGUN.COLT(45), AIM AT LEG.FOOT, THEN WITH ARM.HAND.FINGER ON HANDGUN.COLT(TRIGGER) PREFORM SQUEEZE, RETURN HANDGUN.COLT TO HIP.HOLSTER.cah: After searching the manual until your foot falls asleep, you shoot the computer and switch to C.dBASE: You buy a gun. Bullets are only available from another company and are promised to work so you buy them. Then you find out that the next version of the gun is the one that is scheduled to shoot bullets.Fortran: You shoot yourself in each toe, more...
The Top 10 reasons why a handgun is better than a woman
#10 - You can trade an old. 44 for two new. 22s.
#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for
when you're on the road.
#8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he
will probably let you try it out a few times.
#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a
backup.
#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of
ammo.
#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
#4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
#3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look
fat?"
#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you
use it.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A
WOMAN. . . You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know how to use it!
Get out of the car you scumbags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.
The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad more...
TOP 10 REASONS WHY SOME MEN FAVOR HANDGUNS OVER WOMEN10 - YOU CAN TRADE IN AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU`REON THE ROAD.8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND`S HANDGUN AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN`T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.5 - A HANDGUN DOESN`T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.3 - A HANDGUN DOESN`T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"2 - A HANDGUN DOESN`T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN.
.. 10 - You can trade an old. 44 for two new. 22s.
.. 9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for when you're on the road.
.. 8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.
.. 7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.
.. 6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of ammo.
.. 5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.
.. 4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.
.. 3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look fat?"
.. 2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.
AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A
WOMAN. . . You can buy a silencer for a handgun.