Handcuffs Jokes / Recent Jokes

An enterprising mayor of the city of Granby, Quebec, a community south of Montreal, established a municipal zoo that has become a significant tourist attraction. It has also given rise to many unusual events. Last September one of the star attractions, Arnold, an Indonesian ape, escaped to the dismay of the zoo director. The matter was a serious one because the members of the staff of the zoo, while expert at caring for animals, had no experience whatsoever in rounding them up or capturing them. The zoo director appealed to the office of the mayor for help and the secretary to the mayor asked, "Have you looked in the yellow pages"? The director said he hadn't, but would, immediately. To his surprise, under "animal capturing service" he found a listing for the Acme Ape Apprehenders. He called them immediately. Within 20 minutes, a panel truck arrived at the admin office of the zoo and a small man emerged and rushed to the director who was waiting at the door. more...

This guys wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks
in
the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one.
"Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks.
"Boy," is the mans response.
"Oh yeah, I can do it, I'll be right there".
An hour later the service guy shows up with a stick, a Chihuahua, a
shotgun
and a pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions: "Now,
I'm
going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he
falls. When he does the trained Chihuahua will bite the gorilla's
balls.
The gorilla will then cross his hands to protect himself which will
allow
you to put the handcuffs on' im".
The man asks "What do I do with the shotgun?"
"If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla, shoot the dog"

A guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book and sure enough finds an ad for "Gorilla Pest Control." When he asks if they can remove the gorilla, the service guy asks, "Is it male or female?"
"Male," he replies.
"Oh yeah, we can do that. I'll be right there," he states.
An hour later, the service guy shows up with a stick, a Rottweiler, a shotgun, and a large pair of handcuffs. He then gives the man some instructions. "I'm going to climb this tree and poke the gorilla with the stick until he falls out of the tree. When he does, the trained Rotty will move in and savage the gorilla's private parts. The gorilla will then cross his hands across his crotch to protect himself, and that's when you move in with the handcuffs!"
The man goes pale and asks, "Um, okay, but what do I do with the shotgun?"
The service guy replies, "Hopefully nothing, but if I happen to fall more...