Gus Jokes

A drunk staggers into a diner and orders a couple of eggs. The waiter, suspecting that they've run out, goes back to question the chef. "Hey, Gus, do we have any more eggs?"

Gus replies, "I ran out of fresh eggs, I only have two rotten eggs left."

The waiter says, "Give him the rotten eggs. He's so bombed he won't know the difference."

Gus scrambles up the rotten eggs and heaps on hash browns, sausage and toast. The drunk is so hungry he wolfs down the breakfast without comment. He goes to pay the cashier and asks, "Where'd you get those eggs?"

She replies, "We have our own chicken farm."

The drunk asks, "Do you have a rooster?

"No," she says.

The drunk replies, "Well, you'd better get one, because some skunk is screwing your chickens."

A wife begins to get a little worried because her husband has not arrived home on time from his regular Saturday afternoon golf game. As the hours pass she becomes more and more concerned until, at 8 p. m., the husband finally pulls into the driveway.
"What happened?" asked the wife. "You should have been home hours ago!"
"Gus had a heart attack at the third hole," replied the husband.
"Oh, that's terrible," said the wife.
"I know," the husband answered. "All day long it was, hit the ball, drag Gus, hit the ball, drag Gus..."

Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening just as they have done for the past 50 years.
Gus, the elder, had been having problems remembering what cards were what, and usually needed help from his wife. At the end of the card game Red said to Gus, "You did very good tonight. You didn't need any help at all. Why is that?"
Gus replied, "Why, ever since my wife sent me to that memory school, I haven't had any problems at all."
"Memory school? What memory school?"
Gus thought for a moment, "Oh, what's that flower that's red with thorns? A really pretty flower. . . "
"A rose?" asked Red.
"Yeah, that's it!" Gus turned to his wife and mumbled, "Hey, Rose! What's the name of that memory school you sent me to?"

A drunk staggers walks into a diner and orders a couple of eggs. The waiter, suspecting that they've run out, goes back to question the chef.' Hey, Gus, do we have any more eggs?' Gus replies,' I ran out of fresh eggs, I only have two rotten eggs left.' The waiter says,' Give him the rotten eggs. He's so bombed he won't know the difference.' Gus scrambles up the rotten eggs and heaps on hash browns, sausage and toast. The drunk is so hungry he wolfs down the breakfast without comment. He goes to pay the cashier and asks,' Where'd you get those eggs?' She replies,' We have our own chicken farm.' The drunk asks,' Do you have a rooster?' No,' she says. The drunk replies,' Well, you'd better get one, because some skunk is screwing your chickens.'