Grandmother Jokes / Recent Jokes

I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and she was always correct, but it was fun
for me, so I continued.At last, she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?"Mom smiled and then replied....."I remember."

A lil boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and Dad? " and she replied, "They're up in bed," so the lil boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.
Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "Where's Mom and Dad?" and she replied, "They're still up in bed," and the lil boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play.
Then the lil boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and Dad?" and his grandmother replied "They're still up in bed" and the little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "What give's? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! What is going on here?"
The little boy replied, "Well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue instead."

This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life.When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men, and she asked him why they were there.Her grandson replied, "On television, they say,' The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"

A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping!"
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.
"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam's suit!!"

A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus? The Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping!"
A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages."Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam's suit!!"

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letterfrom his mother asking him to send her a current photoof himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to lether know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts aphoto in half and sends her the top part. Later he receives another letter asking him to send apicture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picturein half, but accidentally sends the bottom half of thephoto. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent thewrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother'seyesight is, and hopes she won't notice. A few weekslater he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says,"Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style... itmakes your nose look short!"