Grandmother Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.
Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends her the bottom half.
He's really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from this grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style... it makes your nose look too short."

Tabby Cat

Hot 1 year ago

A woman took her 6-year-old daughter to pick out some fish at the pet store. While there, they walked past the caged cats, and little Emily got curious.
"Mommy, mommy! I wanna look at the kitties."
So they went over to them. Little Emily looked at each pair of cats in each cage, they were set up into pairs of cat species that got along with each other. Little Emily pointed at each cage and asked her mom what the name of each species was.
"Mommy, what's that?" she asked.
"Why, that's a Himalayan."
"What about THAT one?"
"That's a Persian."
And so it went on. When she reached the last cage, little Emily noticed that one of the cats was on top of each other. Pointing to the one on top, she asked "Mommy, what's that one?"
"A Tabby,"
"What are they doing?"
After thinking for a second, the mother said, "Well, they're mating."
A week later, little Emily's more...

A guy goes to visit hisgrandmother and he brings his friend with him.
While he's talking to his grandmother, hisfriend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finished them off.
As they'releaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts." She says" Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off them.

A Jewish grandmother was pushing her grandson in a stroller along the edge of the surf on the beach. Suddenly, a giant wave swelled up and crashed over the two of them, taking the little boy out to sea. The grandmother threw her hands up and shouted, "Oh, G*d! Oh, G*d! Don't let this happen! Bring back my little bushkin! I can't live without him! I beg you, please!"
With that, the wave returned and the little boy was placed at his grandmother's feet. She scooped him up in her arms, looked up to heaven and said, "He had a hat!"

A lil boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and Dad? " and she replied, "They're up in bed," so the lil boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.
Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "Where's Mom and Dad?" and she replied, "They're still up in bed," and the lil boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play.
Then the lil boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and Dad?" and his grandmother replied "They're still up in bed" and the little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "What give's? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! What is going on here?"
The little boy replied, "Well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue instead."

A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He looks at his mom and says, "Mom, look, I'm a white boy!"
His mom slaps him in the kisser and says, "Go show your father!"
He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look dad, I'm a white boy!" His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your Grandmother!"
The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, "Look granny, I'm a white boy!" His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.
His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?!"
To which the boy replies, "Sure enough did. I've only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate you black people!"

A little black boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He looks at his mom and says, "Mom, look, I'm a white boy!"His mom slaps him in the kisser and says, "Go show your father!"He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look dad, I'm a white boy!" His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your Grandmother!"The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says, "Look granny, I'm a white boy!" His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?!"To which the boy replies, "Sure enough did. I've only been white for 5 minutes and I already hate you black people!"