Government Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.When the Sudanese government showed an interest in buying two Russian transport planes to ferry supplies to famine-ridden ares in the south, the acting Soviet ambassador allowed the Sudanese to test-fly the aircraft. They flew to rebel-held Yirol and bombed the city, pushing bombs out of the cargo doors.

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.
It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, something that had never happened before.
Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said:
"If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000."
"Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?"

The "Two Cow Explanation" of what makes...
A Christian Democrat: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
A Socialist (or a Canadian New Democrat): You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
A Republican (or a Canadian Conservative): You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A Democrat (or a Canadian Liberal): You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.
A Communist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
A Fascist: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.
Democracy, American Style: You have two cows. The more...

DUBAI SYSTEM:
You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legitimate and shady investors who hope to sell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cows first to attract attention.
QATAR SYSTEM:
You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.
BAHRAIN SYSTEM:
You have two cows. Some high government official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The government tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the government and carry Iranian flags. The more...

Piloo Mody was a weighty man with a mind as nimble as his body. During one of the interludes in an otherwise very serious conference in parliament, he regaled everyone with his plea for a Parsi State. This is how it went:
'This country should be handed over to the Parsis - on a managing agency basis. We will charge only a five per cent managing agency commission, which is a hell of a lot less than the Government of India spends on administration.'' For this, we will give you a clean, honest, impartial and non-discriminatory government. There are only a hundred thousand of us, and after we satiate ourselves with corruption and nepotism, there will still be enough left over for everyone else.' We are the most non-communal community in the world. We believe that either you are a Parsi or you are not. If you are not, it makes no hoot of a difference who you are.' Go ahead, go breaking up this country into a hundred parts. Finally our turn will come.'' Then we will demand a Parsi more...

The government has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty without any proof.

Higherarchy: government by the tall
Knockknockracy: rule by whoever is there
Maytreearchy: rule by a government that leaves in the spring
Hipocracy: rule by the "in" crowd
Plutocracy: Mickey Mouse government gone to the dogs
Woodstockracy: Free rule, man