France Jokes / Recent Jokes
A gum-chewing American and a Frenchman are sitting together in a
> restaurant.
>
> The American feel really proud to be an American, so he starts a
> conversation. He asks the Frenchman, "When you eat bread, do you eat
all
> of
> it?" "Mais oui!,
> of course!" responds the Frenchman.
> "Well," says the American, "we only eat the soft part of it. The rest
we
> collect in containers, take to a factory and put through a mill. What
> comes out are little breads that we sell in France.
>
> "And what about steaks?" he continues. "Do you eat all parts of them?"
> "Bien sur! We do," replies the Frenchman.
> "You don`t say!" says the America, grinning. "We don`t! We only eat
the
> meaty part of the steak. The greasy part we collect in containers,
take
> to a factory, put through a mill, and what comes out are little more...
Going to war without France is like going duck hunting without your accordion.
A boy from France comes to America. He wants to learn some new words so he goes to the airport and learns "take off." Then he learnes "zebra" from the zoo and "baby" from the hospital. Then he goes home and says, Mommy, I learned new words today. She says, "Great, honey what did you learn?" He says, Takeoffzebrababy!
World-renowned geneticist William French Anderson, who helped to develop gene therapy, has been convicted of molesting a colleague's daughter.
Perhaps he should have been working less on Gene therapy and more on William therapy.
(PS Plus a bonus stupid dig at France if you like:
"What do you expect from a guy with'French' right in his name?"
Boom, take THAT for no reason, France.)
The beautiful secretary of the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank goes on a sight-seeing tour with a very rich African King who was a very important client. The client, out of the blue, asks her to marry him.
Naturally, the secretary is quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her. Don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way to dissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her. So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the man, "I will only marry you under three conditions. First, I want my engagement ring to be a 75 carat diamond ring, with a matching 200 carat diamond tiara."
The African man pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says "No problem!! I have. I have."
Realizing that her first condition was too easy, the woman says to the man, "I want you to build me a 100 room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, I want a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in more...
A secretary for a foreign embassy was entertaining a wealthy foreign ambassador during lunch at a very expensive restaurant in New York.
The ambassador was so enthralled by the beauty and presence of this secretary that he asked her to marry him. The secretary was startled, but remembered that her boss told her never to insult foreign dignitaries, so she decided to let him down easy.
"I'll only marry you under three conditions."
"Anything, anything," said the ambassador.
"First, you must buy me a 14-karat gold wedding band with a 72 carat diamond, along with a 28-inch studded matching necklace for our engagement."
Without hesitation, the ambassador picked up his cellular phone, called his personal accountant, told him the instructions, and said, "Yes, yes, I buy, I buy!"
The secretary thought that her first request was too easy, so she thought of a more difficult more...