Favorite Jokes / Recent Jokes
your immune system attacks a dog crossing your front garden.
you have delusions of being an emergency doctor.
the EMS guys think your name is the Coffee Mate.
you tell the doctors and nurses that you don't get paid anything to do this and they look at you like you'r some kind of a freak.
your idea of a good time is a full code at shift change.
the EMS guys refer to you as "the pain in the ass that got in my way when I was bringing in a code!"
your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.
your favorite colors are green, white and red, even though you are not Italian.
your favorite thing is to take orders from medical students.
you have recurring nightmares about being knocked to the floor and run over by a portable X-ray machine.
What is the wasps' favorite song? Just a Spoonful of Sugar.
What is a mouse's favorite record? ' Please cheese me'!
You Know You're From New York City When...
1.) You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan.
2.) You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3.) You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4.) Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
5.) The subway makes sense.
6.) You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
7.) You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".
8.) The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
9.) You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.
10.) You consider Westchester "upstate".
11.) You think Central Park is "nature."
12.) You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.
13.) You're paying more...
Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?A: The Air Pump!
What are the aardvarks favorite Beatles songs? Its Been an Aards Days Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant!
What is Dracula's favorite kind of dog?
A blood hound.