Exist Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical Engineering Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing questions on final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?" In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer " exam paper contained the question: "Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof." Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you
    are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. more...

    Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal finally admitted that the country of Israel does exist. He said he's also considering admitting that gravity and the sun also exist.

    From his home in Syria he stated that the problem is not that Israel exists but that there is no Palestianian state.

    Mr. Meshaal-- look south. See Jordan?

    A mathematician, a theoretical economist and an econometrician are asked to find a black cat (who doesn't really exist) in a closed room with the lights off:
    The mathematician gets crazy trying to find a black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room and ends up in a psychiatric hospital.
    The theoretical economist is unable to catch the black cat that doesn't exist inside the darkened room, but exits the room proudly proclaiming that he can construct a model to describe all his movements with extreme accuracy.
    The econometrician walks securely into the darkened room, spend one hour looking for the black cat that doesn't exits and shouts from inside the room that he has it catched by the neck."

    A retiring Phys Chem professor was setting his last exam, for a graduate course in statistical thermodynamics. Being a bit bored with it all, and with a well-kept and wry sense of humor, he set a single question on the sheet: "Is Hell endothermic or exothermic? Support your answer with proof."
    He had little idea what to expect, or how to grade the results, but decided to reward any student who was able to come up with a reasonable and consistent reply to his query. One A was awarded. Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. The top student however wrote the following:
    First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, lets look more...

    Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates were invited on the eve of the millennium to have dinner with God. After a little bit of small talk, God informed them that he would be destroying the earth the next day. Upon returning to earth, they each made announcemnts."I have two piece of bad news," said Boris Yeltsin. "One, God does exist. Two, all of the earth will be destroyed tomorrow.""I have some good news and some bad news," said Bill Clinton. "First, the good - God does exist. And the bad - the earth will be destroyed tomorrow.""I have some great news!" said Bill Gates. "One, I'm one of the three most important people on earth. Two, we've got this Y2K thing solved!"

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