Evidence Jokes / Recent Jokes
'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.
The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a cacophony more...
"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
(P) = Problem (S) = Solution
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(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire
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(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft
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(P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
(S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage
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(P) Something loose in cockpit
(S) more...
'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.
The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing various subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebra. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal cranial coverings, were about to take slumbrous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a more...
Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client? s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."
Night Before Christmas For Readers in their 23rd Year of Schooling 'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas. The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebra. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal cranial coverings, were about to take slumbrous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous more...
Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."
Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"
Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."
Jay Lenno on the Impact of Kenneth Starr's Report. 9/11/98
As a direct result of the release of Judge Kenneth Starr's Report to the congress on the internet:
Meet The Press will not be hosted by Tim Russert this week. The new host: Dr. Ruth.
The Big Story: George Burns no longer can claim the world's most famous cigar.
According to Monica, Bill took phone calls while she was giving him Oral Sex. Wouldn't it be too perfect if one of those calls was from AT&T asking if he was satisfied with the service he was getting?
The President's Lawyer went on TV and said' this is just an accusation, not proof.' Hey Lumpy! 36 boxes of evidence will stack up to substantially taller than you, your boss and your secretaries standing on each others shoulders! With that mountain of evidence against you: IT'S OVER!!!!!.
Even OJ was heard to say:' Give It Up!!!'
Clinton wasn't going to apologize to his cabinet until Janet Reno more...