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    CAT User's Manual

    Hot 6 years ago

    CAT v.6.1b: Completely Autonomous Tester, Manufactured by MOMCAT
    User Installation and Maintenance Documentation:
    Features:
    User Friendly
    Low Power CPU
    Self Portable Operation
    Dual Video and Audio Input
    Audio Output
    Auto Search Capability for Input Data
    Auto Search for Output Bin
    Auto Learn Program in ROM
    Instant Transition To Energy Saving Standby Mode When Not In Use
    Wide Operating Temperature Range
    Mouse Driven
    Self Cleaning
    Production Details:
    After basic KIT construction, the unit undergoes six weeks of
    onsite ROM programming and burn-in testing. Listed features are
    installed during this period. Since MOMCAT uses local suppliers,
    there may be a variation between individual units. Some of the
    units may not meet general standards. MOMCAT's quality assurance
    may reject inferior units. Users may sometimes salvage rejected
    units. Beware of Far East clones. These may violate more...

    ' 'Squawks'' are problems noted by U.S. Air Force pilots and left for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by those Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. (P) = Problem, (S) = Solution

    ----------------------------------------------------------

    (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    (P) Test flight OK, except auto land very rough.
    (S) Auto land not installed on this aircraft.

    (P) # 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
    (S) # 2 propeller seepage normal - # 1, # 3, and # 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

    (P) Something loose in cockpit.
    (S) Something tightened in cockpit.

    (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    (S) Evidence removed.

    (P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
    (S) Volume set to more believable level.

    (P) Dead bugs on more...

    SmartHouse

    Hot 2 years ago

    Nov 28, 2005
    Moved in to my new Hermosa Beach house at last. Finally, we live in the
    smartest house in the neighborhood. Everything's networked. The
    cable TV is connected to our phone, which is connected to my
    personal computer, which is connected to the power lines, all the
    appliances and the security system. Everything runs
    off a univeral remote with the friendliest interface I've ever
    used. Programming is a snap. I'm like, totally wired.
    Nov 30
    Hot Stuff! Programmed my VCR from the office, turned up the
    thermostat and switched on the lights with the car phone, remotely
    tweaked the oven a few degress for my pizza. Everthing nice & cozy
    when I arrived. Maybe I should get the universal remote surgically attached.
    Dec 3
    Yesterday, the kitchen CRASHED. Freak event. As I opened the
    refrigerator door, the light bulb blew. Immediately, everything
    else electrical shut down - lights, microwave, coffee maker -
    everything. more...

    When someone asks you what your favorite mode of transit is, it most likely isn't taking the bus! However, if you are stuck on a long bus ride, we are pleased to provide you with a list of things to do to pass away the time...
    1. Eat nothing but gas inducing foods the entire trip, not hesitating to hare the wealth? with everyone on board. Recommended foods are chilli, burritos, McDonalds, any eggs, Kentuky Fried Chicken (stay near the toilet if you want the KFC...)
    2. Repeat #1, only engage in a uppy war? with the bus driver. (For those that do not know what a uppy? is, it involves making a cup with your hand, farting in it and slipping it directly into the face of some unsuspecting friend.)
    3. Every time the bus wobbles from the wind caused by passing transports, jump up and scream EE ALL GONNA DIE!?/font>
    4. Incessantly complain that it is way too cold in the bus, no matter what the temperature is, keep doing it until the bus driver turns the heat more...

    A few days ago, we were trying to explain to a MS-DOS user
    how the VI editor works. Here's what we come up with:
    Vi is an editor with two distinguished modes:
    In Edit mode you have all the capabilities of grandma's
    typewriter right under your finger tips! You can make the
    very same mistakes as you did with granny's typewriter
    (and your possibilities to correct them are about the same).
    That's why Vi was provided with a second mode, namely the
    _Beep_ mode. On a vt100 terminal or compatible you can
    get into Beep mode by pressing an arrow or escape function
    key. In this powerful Beep mode even the more innocuous
    keystroke will promptly produce a Beep sound. As an example,
    arrows, return, blank spaces and most capital letters will
    produce beeps in the most arbitrary places of the screen.
    Just think about the whole world of possibilities that
    this mode gives to you:
    -Compose a monotonic symphony or rap while editing more...

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