Eve Jokes / Recent Jokes

Just before the start of the Christmas Eve Service, the minister
suddenly drops dead. Everyone looks around to see who will
conduct the services with a full house in attendance.
The president of the congregation looks at the vice-president and
as they try to decide what to do, from the back of the room Jack
the Junk Dealer yells out "I have a fantastic dog that sings
hymns, gives the best sermons you could ever hope to hear and
brings people to tears of joy."
With limited possibilities at the moment, they decide to give him
a try.
Up he goes to the pulpit and before you know it, the entire church
is crying with happiness. Now I have to admit it's a bit unusual,
but the fact is the members were happy and isn't that what
Christmas is about anyway?
Anyway, following the service, the president calls over the dog's
owner and offers to give him a contract until the minister can
be replaced. Just as more...

Three nuns die and go to heaven. St. Peter is waiting for them at the gates of heaven and as they walk up he says "In order for you to get into heaven, you each have to answer one question." The nuns say ok and the first nun walks up.

St. Peter says "Who was the first man on Earth?"

The nun thinks for a little bit and finally says "that's easy, Adam." Bells ring, angels sing, doors fly open, nun walks in.

The second nun walks up and St. Peter says "Who was the first woman on Earth?"

The nun thinks for a little bit and says "That's easy, Eve." Bells ring, angels sing, doors fly open, nun walks in.

The third nun walks up and St. Peter says "Ok, what were the last words Eve said to Adam before Adam left the Garden of Eden?"

The nun, not having the slightest idea, thought for a long time and finally said "Boy, that's a hard one..."

Bells ring, more...

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged.

"You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest.

It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded.

"Counting your ribs," said Eve.

The New Year's Eve party had turned into a regular marathon with numerous guests coming and going.
At one point, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to the bar in the basement.
He sat there happily for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. "You know," he confided to his host, "I wasn't even invited to this party. I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my driveway."
The guest continued, "My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved."

It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo' Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed' Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "Now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset." You're running around with other women," she charged." You're being unreasonable," Adam responded." You're the only woman on earth!"The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve." What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded." Counting your ribs," said Eve!

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.

"Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vainglorious; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But... .. he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be more...