Divided Jokes / Recent Jokes

TEACHER: "If I divided a piece of beef into four pieces, what would I get?"
STUDENT: "Quarters"
TEACHER: "Right. Now if I divided the quarters again into halves what would I get?"
STUDENT: "Eighths."
TEACHER: "Right. Now if I divided those 8 pieces each into 8 more pieces what would I have?"
STUDENT: "Hamburger."

Two old maids were grocery shopping. The sign said `Bananas - 3 for 50 cents. So they put two in the shopping cart. One said to the other, "How much will that be apiece?" The other one said, " That would be fifty cents divided by three, multiplied by two, then divided by two - whatever that comes to." So the first old maid said, " Heck, just get three. That'll be a quarter apiece and we can eat the other one.

People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.

One day I went into a Burger King restaurant.I noticed an elderly couple in a corner with one small burger meal. The elderly man divided the burger in half and placed neatly on atray for the lady I supposed was his wife he counted every fry and divided them equally in half, he then poured half of the drink in an extra cup which he gave to his wife .Being amazed at how loving these two people were, I went over to where they were seated and offered to purchase another meal the lady then saidd "no no no we have been married for 50 years and have been sharing everthing since then in fact I am just waiting on my husband to finish his meal so I can use the dentures

One day I went into a Burger King restaurant.I noticed an elderly couple in a corner with one small burger meal. The elderly man divided the burger in half and placed neatly on atray for the lady I supposed wsa his wife he counted every fry and divided them equally in half, he then poured half of the drink in an extra cup which he gave to his wife .Being amazed at how loving these two people were, I went over to where they were seated and offered to purchase another meal the lady then saidd "no no no we have been married for 50 yaers and have been sharing everthing sice then in fact I am just waiting on my husband to finish his meal so I can use the dentures

Once upon a time, in a kingdom not far from here, a King summoned two of
his advisors for a test. He showed them both a shiny metal box with two
slots in the top, a control knob and a lever.
"What do you think it is," he asked.
One advisor, an Engineer, answered first. "It is a toaster," he said.
The King then asked, "How would you design an embedded computer for it?"
The Engineer replied, "Using a four-bit microcontroller. I would write a
simple program that reads the darkness knob and quantizes its position to
one of sixteen shades of darkness: from snow white to coal black. The
program would use that darkness level as the index to a sixteen-element
table of initial timer values. Then it would turn on the heating elements
and start the timer with the initial value selected from the table. At the
end of the timer delay it would turn off the heat and pop up the toast.
Come back next week, and I'll more...