A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.
Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."
Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful - the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems:
First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."
The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts."
She said, "Well, I guess there's no point in asking about more...
A blonde is like a door knob, everyone gets a turn!
A middle aged woman went to her cosmetic surgeon to see what her options were concerning her rapidly sagging face.
"We can give you an old fashioned face-lift, or we can use a new high-tech procedure called "The Knob".
"What is the knob, doctor?" she asked.
"It is a procedure where we install a knob under your hair on the back of your head. We then connect it to the facial muscles and skin which sag, and when you see new wrinkles and sagging, you just tighten the knob a few turns and your skin is nice and tight again."
"Oh, yes! that is what I would like to have," she replied excitedly.
The operation was a complete success and she looked 15 years younger. As time passed, when she would notice a new sagging, she would simply tighten the knob and voila! Her face was again beautiful!
One day about 8 years later she woke up one morning and saw very large bags under her eyes. Alarmed, she called doctor and reported the more...
A woman goes in to have a facelift. Theres a new one called the knob. It goes in the back of your head, and you twist it to lift up your features. She has it done, and a year later she goes in to see the doctor. She says to him: This is wonderful, whenever I feel old I just twist it and it pulls everything up. Theres a problem though Ive got these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob seems to make it worse and not better.
The doctor looks at her and thinks for a minute, then says:They arent bags - Theyre your breasts!
The woman says:Oh right. That explains the goatee then!
I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence. There's a knob called 'brightness' but it doesn't work.