Cursor Jokes / Recent Jokes

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless, to say the helpdesk employee was fired: however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support Employee: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
"Went away?" "They disappeared."
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."
"Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?"
"Can you see the c:prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the more...

This is a true story from the WordPerfecthelpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currentlysuing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect CustomerSupport employee with a caller: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There more...

The group shared their favorites. Windows that crack or melt into a
slag heap. The MacIntosh IBM DOS emulator that, when fired up,
begins to put up a zippy MacIntosh screen, stops halfway down the
screen to declare, "Oops? Sorry. You wanted 1950s technology." It
then goes into command line mode. The supposed unused ROM hook in
the Mac that would have caused a monkey to dance across the screen
ONCE upon the 7698th (or whatever) boot of the machine. Insects
crawling around the screen.
As you read this, project programmers in ski-masks are already coding
up:
ELUSIVE MENU: When the mouse cursor enters such menus, the menus
dodge away while insulting the user with appropriate language and
gestures. Somebody informed us this is just like the Mac Bomb
program.
CRASHING WINDOWS: You begin to move a window. Suddenly it
accelerates out of your control up toward the corner of the screen.
When it reaches the corner, it more...

Good Afternnoon, Ridge Hall, computer assistant; may I help you?"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."What sort of trouble?"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words wentaway."Went away?"They disappeared."Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"Nothing."Nothing?"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"How do I tell?"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"What's a sea-prompt?"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."Does your monitor have a power indicator?"What's a monitor?"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does ithave a little light that tells you when it's on?"I don't know."Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the powercord goes into it. Can you see that?... more...

Finally! A guaranteed way to make $$$ with your computer- no strings attached!

That's right! You can makes lots of $$$$$ using the simple method described below. There is no secret to this method, it has been around for hundreds of years - before computers even existed!

People have been making $$ this way for a long time - in fact, it is estimated that over $ 100 trillion has been made this way by hundreds of millions of people. Don't worry this is not complicated - everything is completely automated and you won't have to sink any money into it. Follow these simple steps and you are guaranteed to make $$$:

Take a look at the box below. Simply click your mouse cursor inside the box.



Now that your cursor is blinking inside the box, it is time to get to work:

* Hold down the shift button on your keyboard.
* While holding this button, locate the "4" key on the upper left-hand side of the keyboard.
* more...

Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't more...

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless, to say the helpdesk employee was fired: however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support Employee: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." "What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the c:prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: more...