Cord Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bungee Jumping

    Hot 6 years ago

    2 guys decide to go down to Mexico and start a bungee jumping business. So they go down to Mexico and start setting up the equipment on a bridge while a curious crowd gathers at the bottom of the bridge and watches. Once the equipment is set up one of the friends decides to test out the stuff. So he sets off and as he bounces back up the first time he comes up with a bloody lip. The second time he bounced back up he had a black eye and a gash on his face to go along with the bloody lip. The other friend tried to catch him but missed. The third time he came back up his face was swollen on the right side and he had blood all over his face. The friend finally caught the other man and tried to tend to the wounds. He asks the friend if the cord was too long.
    The friend replies, "No...Cord....fine...."
    The first friend cries out, "Well what the hell happened down there??"
    The second friends slowly replies, "What...the....hell... is a...pinata?"

    Parachuting

    Hot 4 years ago

    A blonde and a brunette go parachuting. The blonde jumps first, pulls her parachute cord, and slowly drifts in the air and enjoys the view.
    The brunette jumps after her and pulls her parachute cord, but nothing happens! She pulls it again, this time as hard as she can, but still nothing. She pulls the cord to the emergency chute, but that doesn't open either. She passes by the blonde like a speeding bullet!
    The blonde looks at her and says, while getting her parachute off her shoulders, "So, you want to race, do you?"

    Bunjee-Jumping Pinata

    Hot 4 years ago

    Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."

    The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

    They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.

    The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again.

    This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is more...

    Tech Support (Classic)

    Hot 6 years ago

    "Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?"
    "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    "What sort of trouble?"
    "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    "Went away?"
    "They disappeared."
    "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    "Nothing."
    "Nothing?"
    "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
    "How do I tell?"
    [Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.]
    "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
    "What's a sea-prompt?"
    [Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.]
    "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
    "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    [Ah-at least s/he knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware more...

    Sven and Ole decided to go parachuting. Sven jumps first, pulls his parachute cord, slowly drifts in the air, and enjoys the view.
    Ole jumps after him, pulls his parachute cord but nothing happens. He pulls it again, this time as hard as he can, still nothing. He pulls the cord to the emergency chute, but that doesn't open either.
    He passes by Sven like a speeding bullet.
    Sven looks at him, and while unbuckling his parachute off his shoulders, says "Sooo, you want to race, do you???"

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