Cup Jokes

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    Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex.

    Then again, maybe he does...

    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to fuck me?

    Wellhung: OK

    Sweetheart: We're in my more...

    I couldn't work out whether to laugh or be offended by some of these!

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
    1.Two World Wars and One World Cup, doo-dah doo-dah.
    2.Proper beer
    3.You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
    4.You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
    5.Union jack underpants.
    6.Water shortages guaranteed every single summer
    7.You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
    8.Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.
    9.Ditto changing underwear
    10.Beats being Welsh.
    10a. Or Scottish

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
    1.When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
    2.Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
    3.You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
    4.If there's a war you can surrender really early.
    5.You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on SBS
    6.You can more...

    Every year around this time, my sister makes an attempt to create what she says is her masterpiece of culinary delight (in fact, she usually makes two or three attempts) but alas, I have yet to sample even a tiny morsel of it.
    Here is the recipe she uses:
    1 or 2 quarts rum baking powder
    1c. butter 1tsp. soda
    1tsp. sugar lemon juice
    2 large eggs brown sugar
    1c. dried fruit nuts
    Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. Good, isn't it? Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again. It must be just right. To be sure rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beat again. Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the finest quality-- try another cup. Open second quart, if necessary. Add 2 arge leggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. If druit more...

    CULTURAL DIFFERENCES

    Hot 1 year ago

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH
    1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.
    2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.
    3. a. You can legally kill yourself
    3. b. You can legally be killed
    4. You're exactly like the Germans, without an uneery sense of guilt.
    5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks
    Copenhagen is your capital.....
    6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.
    7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country
    8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.
    9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If you lose your bike, blame the Germans.
    10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.

    TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN
    1. You get to speak three languages, but none of more...

    Undescended Twinkie

    Hot 1 year ago

    Yield: 4 Servings

    Ingredients

    6oz orange jell-o; (2 pkgs)
    1 cup boiling water
    1/2 cup pineapple juice
    1 qt vanilla ice cream; softened
    7oz 7-up
    8 twinkies

    Instructions

    Dissolve Jell-O in boiling water. Add pineapple juice, ice cream and 7-Up. Mix thoroughly (In a blender if necessary to dissolve ice cream), and pour into a deep pan, approximately 9-inches square. Chill until mixture begins to set.

    Lay Twinkies, flat side down, in two rows of four across the top of the chilled gelatin. If the gelatin is properly chilled, it will resist the Twinkies. You will push them in and they will slowly rise. Remember you don't want them buried. Just semi-decended in the ooze. Chill until fully set and serve.

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