Cricket Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man was in a pub, describing his first cricket match to his mates.
'Well,' he said,' these two old men in white coats come out, followed by eleven more, also in white.

Then a couple of fellows with small planks of wood come out, one of the other lot threw a ball at him, he took a swipe at it, and if I' adn't pushed the wife in the way, it would have smashed me right in the face!'

There are TWO teams, with eleven players each (instead of nine as in baseball).

Instead of four bases, there are only two; in the middle of the field, sixty-six feet apart... all running is between the two bases... the ball can be hit in front, OR behind... or, in ANY direction.

Instead of rotating batting for nine innings each, EACH team does all its batting in a SINGLE inning.

The team scoring more runs wins the game.



[NOTE: Unlike baseball, where a pitcher rests every 10 or so pitches when the BATTING rotates, cricket pitchers rest every 6 pitches as their PITCHING rotates.]


The fielding team works with TWO pitchers at the same time.

The first pitcher throws from one base to the other. After six throws, the catcher moves around behind the first pitcher's base, pitcher #2 takes over. He makes six throws in the opposite direction (i. e. towards the starting pitcher's base). The two pitchers keep more...

APPEAL- A 250 decibel scream made to overcome the obvious congenital deafness so common in the umpiring profession.

AVAGOYAMUG- The mysterious, almost religious chant that comes out of the mouth of the cricket spectator. Sometimes it can be repeated by the one person 1200 times in an afternoon, especially if the Englishmen are batting.

BLOCK- Taking block, a slow painful ritual involving an incoming batsman, the umpire and a little pitch excavation. A means of postponing the fearful onslaught.

BRADMAN- See God.

BYE- A way of scoring a run or more by cleverly missing the ball. The umpire raises one arm as if he wants to leave the room. The wicketkeeper wishes he could.

CAUGHT BEHIND- Trapped in the turnstiles.

COMMENTATOR- He's venerable. His eyesight is not as good as it was in 1938 but it's remarkable how he can still pick an inswinger or an outswinger from 200 metres. Whats going on in the centre can be a wretched more...

If I had one cricket ball in one hand, and another cricket ball in the other hand, what would I have?
A bloody big cricket.

Gilchrist and Sangakkara
The ICC 2007 World Cup final between Sri Lanka and Australia is now history and another traingular series of matches coming ahead.
There has been loads of articles published, wide range of views expressed and many postmortems by various individuals, including past and present cricketers held.
I have been carefully reading all the stuff, including our own' on-the-spot' reports filed by veteran cricket writer Dr. Elmo Rodrigopulle, the only Sri Lankan English journalist to cover the entire tournament.
Whilst thinking of all those action paced episodes from the Caribbean for nearly two months, I had a dream.
Yes! That was a dream final.
Sri Lanka captain Mahela Jayawardena won the toss and elected to bat first in a final curtailed to 38 overs per side due to morning rain. Sri Lanka made a commanding total of 281 for 4 in their allocated 38 overs. The architect of the massive Lankan total was none other than wicket keeper batsman more...

True incident before the Aus-Rest of the World series in 71.

Ackerman:(To elderly gentleman recieving him at the airport whom he had given his bag to carry): "Are you connected with the Australian board"?

Eldery Gentleman: "Yes"

Ackerman: "Played any cricket?"

Eldery Gentleman: "Yes"

Ackerman: "Test Cricket?"

Eldery Gentleman: "Yes"

Ackerman: "Really? What's your name?"

Eldery Gentleman: Don Bradman

Two fast friends, Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were great cricket fanatics.

They decided that whoever dies first will try to come back in the dreams of the other, and tell the other about the cricket scenario in the heaven. Santa Singh dies first.

One day as Banta was fast sleep, he heard Santa calling him. He was very happy and was eager to know about cricket there.
"So, Santa! How is cricket in heaven?" Santa replied, "Hey Banta, I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that tomorrow we are going to have a day & night tournament here in heaven.

And the bad news is that you are the opening bowler for tomorrow`s match!"