Coupons Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Frequently, I get a strip of coupons or other
    promotional items from a little printer at the
    checkout of my local grocery.
    Coupons emerge as a thank-you for purchasing a
    product, or based on some other derived data.
    Yesterday, after buying a couple pints of Ben &
    Jerry's Ice Cream (my favorite bad-for-me snack
    food), I got the following checkout coupons in
    sequence:
    Save 55c on Two(2) Pints Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream
    Free High Cholesterol Survival Guide

    MEMO TO: All Hospital Staff
    FROM: Administration/Groundskeeper
    SUBJECT: New Cost Cutting Measures
    Effective January 1 this hospital will no longer provide security. Each charge nurse will be issued a .38 caliber revolver and 12 rounds of ammunition. An additional 12 rounds will be stored in the pharmacy. In addition to routine nursing duties, Charge Nurses will rotate the patrolling of the hospital grounds. A bicycle and helmet will be provided for patrolling the park areas.
    In light of the similarity of monitoring equipment, ICU will now take over the security surveillance duties. The unit secretary will be responsible for watching cardio and security monitors as well as continuing previous secretarial duties.
    Food service will be discontinued. Patients wishing to be fed will need to let their families know to bring something, or may make arrangements with Subway, Domino's, etc., before meal time. Coin-operated telephones will be available in the patient rooms for more...

    To: All university hospital nursing staff.
    From: Administration/Groundskeeping
    Subject: New Cost Cutting Measures.
    Date: May 21,1997.
    Effective August 1, this hospital will no longer provide security. Each
    Charge Nurse will be issued a .38 caliber revolver and 12 rounds of
    ammunition. An additional 12 rounds will be stored in the pharmacy. In
    addition to routine nursing duties, Charge Nurses will rotate the
    patrolling of the hospital grounds. A bicycle and helmet will be provided
    for patrolling the parking areas. In light of the similarity of
    monitoring equipment, ICU will now take over the security surveillance
    duties. The unit secretary will be responsible for watching cardiac and
    security monitors as well as continuing previous secretarial duties.
    Food service will be discontinued. Patients wishing to be fed will need
    to let their families know to bring something, or make arrangements with
    Subway, KFC, Dominos, etc. before more...

    MEMO TO: All Hospital Staff
    FROM: Administration/Groundskeeper
    SUBJECT: New Cost Cutting Measures
    Effective January 1 this hospital will no longer provide security. Each charge nurse will be issued a. 38 caliber revolver and 12 rounds of ammunition. An additional 12 rounds will be stored in the pharmacy. In addition to routine nursing duties, Charge Nurses will rotate the patrolling of the hospital grounds. A bicycle and helmet will be provided for patrolling the park areas.
    In light of the similarity of monitoring equipment, ICU will now take over the security surveillance duties. The unit secretary will be responsible for watching cardio and security monitors as well as continuing previous secretarial duties.
    Food service will be discontinued. Patients wishing to be fed will need to let their families know to bring something, or may make arrangements with Subway, Domino's, etc., before meal time. Coin-operated telephones will be available in the patient more...

  • Recent Activity