Civil Jokes / Recent Jokes

A bus driver is conducting a tour of famous Civil War battle sites. “Here,” he points out at one spot, “is where the Southern troops routed a whole regiment of Yankees.Over there, the Rebs wiped out a whole platoon of Yanks. Down about a mile, there's
another valley where we captured a thousand Union soldiers.”A tourist says, “Didn't the North ever win a battle?”“Yes, ma'am. But not while I'm driving this bus.”

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets!"

A doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist were arguing about what was the oldest profession in the world. The doctor remarked "Well, in the Bible it says that God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam. This clearly required surgery so I can rightly claim that mine is the oldest profession in the world." The civil engineer interrupted and said "But even earlier in the book of Genesis, it states that God created the order of the heavens and the earth from out of the chaos. This was the first and certainly the most spectacular application of civil engineering. Therefore, fair doctor, you are wrong; mine is the oldest profession in the world." The computer scientist leaned back in his chair, smiled, and said confidently, "Ah, but who do you think created the chaos?

How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb? Twelve. One to change the bulb, and eleven to do the paperwork.

How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb, and eleven to do the paperwork.

There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late one evening, and they discussed which was the oldest profession. The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world. The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order from the chaos, and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession. The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, "Yes, but whom do you think created the chaos?"