Mechanical Jokes

Q: What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

A: Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.

What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
A: Mechanical engineers build weapons, Civil engineers build targets

ACURA
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia's Curse Upon Rural America
AMC
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical more...

Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. There are many other related Laws, as well. Here are some:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. --Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Identical parts aren't. --Beach's Law

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner. --Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. --Tussman's Law

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. --Lowery's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem. --Peer's Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance. --William's Law

Handy Guide to Modern Science: 1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology. 2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry. 3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.

Machines should work. more...

Engineers do it with precision.

Electrical engineers are shocked when they do it.

Electrical engineers do it on an impulse.

Electrical engineers do it with large capacities.

Electrical engineers do it with more frequency and less resistance.

Electrical engineers do it with more power and at higher frequency.

Mechanical engineers do it with stress and strain.

Mechanical engineers do it with less energy and greater efficiency.

Chemical Engineers do it in fluidized beds.

City planners do it with their eyes closed.

Petroleum engineers do it with lubrication.

Reservoir engineers do it thorougly and with lot of simulation.

Drilling engineers do it with smooth penetration aided by lubrication, frequent short wiper tripps, and at the end slug is pumped before they pull out.