Christ Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is the last thing Jesus Christ said to the Teamsters?" Don't do anything' till I get back."

A boy is watching television and hears the name Jesus Christ. Wondering who Jesus Christ is, he asks his mother. She tells him that she is busy, and to ask his father. His father is also busy so he asks his brother. His brother kicks him out of the room because he doesn't have time to answer his stupid questions, so he goes downtown and sees a bum in an alley.
He asks the bum, "Who's Jesus Christ?"
The bum replies, "Well, I am."
The boy, not believing the bum, asks for proof. So the bum takes the boy into the bar down the street and takes him inside. They walk up to the bar and the bartender exclaims, "Jesus Christ, are you in here again?"

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says,' 'I'm Jesus Christ.'' The first priest says,' 'No, son, I'm Jesus Christ.'' So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies,' 'No, son, I'm Jesus Christ.'' The drunk says,' 'Look, I can prove it.'' and walks back into the bar with the priests. The bartender takes on look at the drunk and exclaims,' 'Jesus Christ, you're here again?''

One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St.Patrick."
The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."
Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.
Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I'll give you the $2."
As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know Marvin, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."
Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business!"

One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St.Patrick."The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew."The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I'll give you the $2."As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know Marvin, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business!"

Love Jesus by Dennis DiPasquale The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed. I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus. Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY love the lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST, GO!!!" Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and waved and smiled to all of those loving people. There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a funny way more...

One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year- olds,
"I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most
famous man who ever lived."
An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St.Patrick."
The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct."
Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St.
Andrew."
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right
either."
Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus
Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I'll give you the $2."
As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know Marvin, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ."
Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but
business is business..."