Christ Jokes / Recent Jokes

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, “I’m Jesus Christ. ” The first priest says, “No, son, he died for our sins. ” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, “No, son, Jesus Christ is the Lords son and is only with us in spirit now. ” The drunk says, “Look, I can prove it. ” and walks back into the bar with the priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, “Jesus Christ, you’re here again? ”

A drunk is sitting on the street curb in front of a bar. A stranger comes buy and asks if he's O.K.. The drunk replies by asking, "Do you know who I am?"

The stranger says "No. Who are you?"

The drunk proudly says "I'm Jesus Christ... and I can prove it! Come with me!"

They enter the bar and the bartender looks up and yells "Jesus Christ! Are you here again?"

One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived." An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct." Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either. Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I'll give you the $2." As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know Marvin, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business!"

The three wise men went to visit Jesus right after he was born. One wise man was extremely tall. He hit his head on the top of the door frame and said, "Jesus Christ!" Joseph looked at Mary and said "Write that down - that's better than Clyde!"

There are two guys walking down the street when they stumble upon a drunk. They walked up to him and the 1st guy said, "Sir, what is you name?"
"My name is Jesus Christ!" slurred the drunk.
"That can't possibly be, what is your real name?" asked the 2nd man.
The drunk repeated, "I told you my name is Jesus Christ!"
The two men still didn't believe him so the drunk told them to follow him as he walked into a nearby bar.
It was then they heard the bartender say, "Jesus Christ, are you here again?!"

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned
that his students might be a little confused about Jesus
Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His
birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the
birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up,
etc.

So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven
raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called
on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving
his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in
our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the
teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was
completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He
finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he
knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well... every morning, my
father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells
' more...

One day at kindergarten a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived." An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Sean, that's not correct." Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either. Finally, a Jewish boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Marvin, come up here and I'll give you the $2." As the teacher was giving Marvin his money, she said, "You know Marvin, since you're Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Marvin replied, "Yeah. In my heart I knew it was Moses, but business is business!