Checkup Jokes / Recent Jokes
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the
wife into his office alone.
He said,"Your husband is suffering
from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your
husband will surely DIE!!!"
"Each morning fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant and make sure he's in a good mood.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
Don't burden him with chores, as this could further his stress. Don't discuss your problems with him it will only make his stress worse.
Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of back rubs.
Encourage him to watch some type
of sporting event on T.V. And most importantly make love with your husband several times a week,
and satisfy his every whim."
"If you can do this for 10 months to a year, I more...
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the
doctor notices a red' H' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your
chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud
of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a blue' Y' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on
your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud
of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she
replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes
off her blouse, he notices a green' M' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at
Michigan?" asks the doctor. "No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do
you more...
One day an older fella was in for a checkup.After his examination, his doctor was amazed."Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in thegreatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!""Did I say I was 64?""Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?""Damn straight you did! I'm 85!""85! Unbelievable! You would be in great shape if you were25! How old was your father when he died?""Did I say he was dead?""You mean...""Damn straight! He's 106 and going strong!""My Lord! What a healthy family you must come from! How long did your grandfather live?""Did I say he was dead?""No! You can't mean...""Damn straight! He's 126, and getting married next week!""126! Truly amazing, Mr. Edwards. But gee, I wouldn't thinka man would want to get married at that age!""Did I say he 'wanted' to get married?..."
One day an older fella was in for a checkup. After his examination, his doctor was amazed." Holy cow! Mr. Edwards, I must say that you are in thegreatest shape of any 64 year old I have ever examined!""Did I say I was 64?" "Well, no, did I read your chart wrong?" "Damn straight you did! I'm 85!""85!! Unbelievable! You would be in great shape if you were25! How old was your father when he died?" "Did I say he was dead?" "You mean...""Damn straight! He's 106 and going strong!""My Lord! What a healthy family you must come from! How long did your grandfather live?" "Did I say he was dead?" "No! You can't mean...""Damn straight! He's 126, and getting married next week!""126! Truly amazing, Mr. Edwards. But gee, I wouldn't thinka man would want to get married at that age!""Did I say he' wanted' to get married?..."
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red' 'H'' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue' 'Y'' on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green' 'M'' on her chest. "Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"
A blonde went to see her doctor for her annual checkup so the doctor gave her the once over.
At the end of the checkup he shone a light in her ear to have a look; amazed, he shook his head and walked away.
See below what the doctor had seen.
This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look on his face.
Doctor: Well, I have some bad news and some really bad news.
Guy: Well, give me the really bad news first.
Doctor: You have cancer, and only 6 months to live.
Guy: And the bad news?
Doctor: You have Alzheimer's disease.
Guy: Thank God. I was afraid I had cancer!