A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight
around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to
place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and
froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head,
promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked
the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Just as
he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as
a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the
source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his
flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" He
hissed at the parrot.
"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to more...
(Culled from newspapers)- The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5` 10", with wavy hair weighing about 150 pounds.- The family lawyer will read the will tomorrow at the residence of Mr. Hannon, who died June 19 to accommodate his relatives.~ Mrs. Shirley Baxter, who went deer hunting with her husband, is very proud that she was able to shoot a fine buck as well as her husband.- Organ donations from the living reached a record high last year, outnumbering donors who are dead for the first time.- The dog was hungry and made the mistake of nipping a 2-year-old that was trying to force feed it in his ear.- We spent most of our time sitting on the back porch watching the cows playing Scrabble and reading.- Hunting can also be dangerous, as in the case of pygmies hunting elephants armed only with spears.
Singing Tree Tattles On Burglar Suspects
BATON ROUGE, La. (Reuters) - A singing Christmas tree tattled on two teenage
burglary suspects in Louisiana, leaving the boys with backsides full of
buckshot rather than handfuls of loot, police said Tuesday.
Businessman Leon Wilson, Sr., 59, had been robbed twice last week, so he
started sleeping in his store Friday night and set up a makeshift burglar
alarm - a motion-activated toy Christmas tree his wife had perched near the
store's cash register. Wilson said the toy annoyed him everytime someone
When motion is detected, the tree's eyes pop open, its mouth moves and it
calls out "Merry Christmas, Everybody!" before singing "Jingle Bells." Wilson
set up the toy near the door and stretched out on a couch in the back.
Early Monday morning, the singing Christmas tree went off and he spotted two
burglars near the cash register, armed with a crowbar they allegedly more...
A burglar breaks into a house in the ritzier area of town. He's sure that
there's nobody home but he sneaks in, doesn't turn on any lights and heads
for where he thinks the valuables are kept.
He hears a voice say, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!"
He freezes in his tracks! He doesn't move a muscle!
A couple of minutes go by. The voice repeats "I can see you! Jesus can
see you, too!"
He slowly takes out his flashlight, switches it on and looks around the
room. He sees a bird cage with a parrot in it. "Did you say that?"
The parrot says again, "I can see you! Jesus can see you, too!"
"Hah! So what?! You're just a parrot!" says the burglar.
"I may be just a parrot", replies the parrot. "But Jesus is a
A burglar breaks into a lawyer's house and takes all his Christmas presents from under the tree.
He gets out, but the police nab him.
The thief says, "You can't arrest me, 'cause I'm entitled to the presents of an attorney."