Brief Jokes / Recent Jokes
For six years, the young attorney had worked incredibly long hours in his quest to make partner, and had taken only brief respites at a nearby country inn. During his last, brief visit, he had a moment of passion with the innkeeper's daughter.
Having done little but stare at the walls of his office since then, he looked forward to his next trip to the inn, in the hope that they could pick up where they left off.
Finally, he had another chance to take a couple of days off. Excited, he hauled his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!
"Why didn't you call me when you learned you were pregnant?" he asked. "You know I would have have done the right thing -- we could have been married. I would be a good provider."
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the more...
After a few days on the new Earth, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her."
Adam answered, "Yes, Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?" The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.
A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that. Now, I'd like you to caress Eve."
And Adam said, "What is a 'caress'?"
So, the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.
Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss."
And the Lord said, "You've done well Adam. And now, I want you to make love to Eve."
And Adam asked, "What is 'make love', Lord?"
So, the Lord again more...
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve
to begin the process of populating the Earth so I want you to kiss her."
Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?" So the Lord gave a brief
description to Adam, who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.
A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was
enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like
you to caress Eve."
And Adam said, "What is a 'caress'?" So the Lord again gave Adam a brief
description, and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.
Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was
even better than the kiss."
And the Lord said, "You've done well, Adam. And now I want you to make love to
Eve."
And Adam asked, "What is 'make love', Lord?" So the Lord more...
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."
Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?"
So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve."
Adam said, "What is a caress?"
So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss."
And the Lord said, "'You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve."
Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"
So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went more...
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the Earth so I want you to kiss her."
Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a 'kiss'?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush.
A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable."
And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve."
And Adam said, "What is a 'caress'?" So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description, and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.
Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss."
And the Lord said, "You've done well, Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve."
And Adam asked, "What is 'make love', Lord?" So the Lord again gave Adam directions, and more...
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her." Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a 'kiss?' " So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that was enjoyable." And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is a 'caress?'" So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve. Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "You've done well Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?'" So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind more...
MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET Workplace Hazardous Materials InformationSystem ----------------------------------------------------------------------Substance: Woman Manufacturer: God Typical Size: Average weight 115lbs.; specimens can vary from 90 to over 200 lbs. Occurrence: Largequantities found in urban areas and shopping malls. PHYSICAL PROPERTIES: --------------------1. Surface Tension--soft and warm. 2. Exposed surfaces usually cosmetically enhanced. 3. Boils at nothing. 4. Freezes without reason. 5. Melts with special reason. 6. Flavor initially sweet, becomes bitter if used incorrectly. 7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to commonore. 8. Yields to pressure applied to specific points. 9. Sometimes enlarges alarmingly with age. 10. Even brief linking with male substance can cause substance toreproduce with marked physical and mental changes. CHEMICAL PROPERTIES: --------------------1. Has affinity for gold, silver, and precious stones. 2. Absorbs great more...