Boiling Jokes / Recent Jokes

A blonde is taking a test for a job. The examiner asks some questions for general culture.
"Do you know miss which is the boiling temperature of water?"
"I am not sure"
"Miss, either you know it or you don't know it"
"I am not sure"
"The boiling temperature of water is 100 degrees!"
"Mmmm. I see. It's the right angle that boils at 90 degrees!"

Martha Stewart vs Me...
Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
Martha's way: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shape pancakes every time.
My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.
Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in thebag with the potatoes.
My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.
My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?
Martha's way: To get the most juice out of fresh more...

Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.
Martha's way #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time.
My way: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag.
Martha's way #3: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
My way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way #4: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling.
My way: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway?
Martha's way #5: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, more...

What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

What did the egg say to the boiling water? "It might take me a while to get hard I just got layed last night."

What do you get if you pour boiling water down rabbit holes? Hot, cross bunnies!

What did the egg say to the boiling water?"How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."