"Hello, this is the help desk."
"Yes, this is Mrs. Stuart on the fourth floor. I'm calling to report a violation of company policy."
"What seems to be the problem, Mrs. Stuart?"
"I have found some of the computers in the office here are being used to look at orgies."
"We have filtering software on the network that prevents sites like that from being displayed."
"Well, I just sat down at one of the computers and clicked on the bookmarks."
"And there's a list of pornographic sites?"
"I'll say. Quite a few, actually."
"They should be blocked by the filter. Did you click on them?"
"I didn't have to. They say dot O-R-G and I've been around long enough to know what that means!"
A Doctor gets taken short up in the middle of the night and finds his toilet is completely blocked.
He says to his wife, "I'm going to have to call a plumber."
The wife replies, "You can't call a plumber out at three in the morning!"
He says, "Of course I can! I have to go out on night-time calls if a patient needs me."
Anyway, he rings a plumber, who complains bitterly about having to come out in the middle of the night.
The Doctor says the same thing, "I have to come out on late-night calls to see patients, why shouldn't you?"
At about 3.30AM the plumber arrives, very bleary-eyed, and the Doctor shows him to the blocked toilet.
The plumber drops two tablets down the pan and says to the Doctor, "If there's no change, call me in the morning!"
I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
The lavatory is blocked. This is caused by the house next door throwing their balls on the roof.
This is to let you know there is a smell coming from the man next door.
The toilet seat is cracked - where do I stand?
I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.
I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawers.
I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done, as my wife is about to become an expectant mother.
I want some repairs doing to my cooker, as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
I awoke this morning and found my water boiling.
The person next door has a large erection more...
NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue blocked Patriots coach Bill Parcells form
switching to the New York Jets without the permission of the Patriots.
"The Jets can't win," says Jay Leno. "Even their coaches get intercepted."
A judge in New Zealand has blocked parents from giving their
children names that make a fool of the child and sets them
with a social disability and handicap. The judge blocked some
names including "Fish and Chips", "Yeah Detroit",
"Keenan Got Lucy" and "Britney Spears."