Bishop Jokes / Recent Jokes

Source unknown.
This bishop invites a young priest over for dinner. During the meal,
the priest can't help noticing how attractive and shapely the
housekeeper is. Over the course of the evening he starts to wonder if
there's more between the bishop and the housekeeper than meets the eye.
Reading the young priest's thoughts, the bishop volunteers, "I know what
you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my
housekeeper is purely professional."
About a week later the housekeeper comes to the bishop and says,
"Excellency, ever since the young Father came to dinner, I've been
unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he
took it, do you?"
The bishop says, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write him a letter just to
be sure." So he sits down and writes: "Dear Father, I'm not saying that
you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did
not' more...

A Mormon bishop, a Catholic priest, and a TV evangelist were fishing
from a boat in the middle of a small lake. The priest realized that
he'd left his tackle box in his car, and, not wanting to disturb the
other two, got out of the boat and walked over the water to the shore,
got his gear, walked back, and started fishing.
An hour or so passed, and the bishop began to feel a little hungry.
His lunch was back in his car, though... So, he got out of the
boat, walked over the water, got his lunch, came back, and nibbled on
his sandwich.
The evangelist, not to be outdone, decided that he'd best go for a
walk, too. He mumbled something about going to the bathroom, stood
up, stepped over the side of the boat... and splashed into the lake.
The priest, chuckling, said to the bishop, "Think we should've told
him about those submerged rocks?" Said the bishop, "what rocks??"
- Michael.

On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said,"Whats a four -letter word ending in "unt" which means "woman"? The bishop said,"Did you try "aunt"? The Pope said,"Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?"

Little Johnny's father was a pastor in a small church. One day, his father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them.
Little Johnny became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Little Johnny bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Little Johnny agreed to do this and was very excited.
His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishop's room and then say to him, "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up."
Little Johnny was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally the day came and Little Johnny had learned all his lines. He went to the door and knocked.
He was so excited and nervous though that his lines got mixed up and the boy said, "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!"

A Yeshiva bocher and a seminary student met and started to compare notes about career paths.
The Yeshiva student asked, "So what happens after you graduate?" "Well" answered the seminary student, "I become a priest and if I do well I will promoted to be a Bishop" "Bishop, smishop" said the Yeshiva boy "what is so great about becoming a Bishop? " " Well, said the seminary student "if I do well as a Bishop I can be nominated to become a Cardinal ". The Yeshiva boy was still not satisfied "Cardinal, shmardinal, so you get to wear a little purple yarmulke, so what?" "You do not understand" the other one said "as a Cardinal I get sent to Rome and could even become the Pope!" "Pope, shmope" the young Jewish student said " it is not such a big deal, these days he is just a figure head anyway."
The seminary student lost his patience at that at and shouted back " more...

Bishop Scratches Preacher`s Ass This was too much for the Bishop and he ordered
the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The
preacher decided to give the animal to a nun in a
local convent. The next day, the headlines read: Nun Has Best Ass In Town The Bishop fainted. When he came around, he
informed the nun that she would have to dispose of
the donkey. The nun searched, finally finding a
farmer willing to buy the animal for ten dollars.
The paper stated: Nun Peddles Ass for Ten Bucks! They buried the Bishop the next day.

The day everyone dreaded had finally come - Quasimodo had died and the Bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame was in a quandry. Who would ring the bells now that Quasimodo was gone?
A message was sent throughout the streets of Paris that a bellringer was needed as soon as possible. The Bishop decided that he would personally interview each candidate for the position.
On the first day of receiving prospective personnel, he went up to the church belfry and left word below that all applicants would have to demonstrate their ability with the bells. After watching several people go through the motions, he was about to call it a day when a lone armless man approached him and announced he wanted the job.
The Bishop was amazed. "You have no arms!"
"It doesn't matter", said the man, "observe!"
He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The Bishop could not believe his eyes and ears and just as more...