Barrier Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A fathers rules to dating;
    Rule One - If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
    Rule Two - You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
    Rule Three - I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and more...

    Rule One
    If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
    Rule Two
    You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
    Rule Three
    I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise:
    You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers more...

    Rule OneIf you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.Rule TwoYou do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.Rule ThreeI am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise:You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, In order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your more...

    When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds
    Now, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best ot make my daughter's suitors feel even worse.
    My motto: wilt them in the living room and they'll stay wilted all night.
    "So," I'll call out jovially. "I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you're STUPID, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?"
    As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.
    Rule one: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as more...

    When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamondsNow, years later, it is my turn to be the dad. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best ot make my daughter's suitors feel even worse.My motto: wilt them in the living room and they'll stay wilted all night."So," I'll call out jovially. "I see you have your nose pierced. Is that because you're STUPID, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?"As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room.Rule one: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything more...

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