Backwards Jokes / Recent Jokes
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest.
He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it's about.
"Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks.
The Priest, being polite, responds
"Well, Sir, because I'm a father."
"I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal."
"Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many"
The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don't know most their names, and still my collar isn't backwards"
The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!"
The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
An old Jewish man was once on the subway and he sat down next to a younger man. He noticed that the young man had a strange kind of shirt collar. Having never seen a priest before, he asked the man, "Excuse me sir, but why do you have your shirt collar on backwards?"
The priest became a bit flustered but politely answered "I wear this collar because I am a Father."
The Jewish man thought a second and responded "Sir I am also a Father but I wear my collar front-ways. Why do you wear your collar so differently?"
The priest thought for a minute and said "Sir, I am the father for many."
The Jewish man quickly answered "I too am the father of many. I have four sons, four daughters and too many grandchildren to count. But I wear my collar like everyone else does. Why do you wear it your way?"
The priest who was beginning to get exasperated thought and then blurted out "Sir, I am the father for hundreds and hundreds more...
Stressed out...try some of these relaxing tidbits :)
1. Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
(This one is great to teach neices and nephews!)
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill.
(Even better to call after doing it and say you didn't authorize it and want to know what the hell is going on!)
3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
(This one keeps cats and men occupied for awhile.)
4. When someone says "Have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.
(Like going the store to stock up on ammunition maybe?)
5. Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the check-out counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are.
(And if she's cute, always ask if assistance is available.)
6. Dance naked in front of your pets.
(Not recommended for anyone with a pet Gorilla.)
7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards, and send him/her off to school as if nothing is wrong.
(You can get real more...
Stressed out...try some of these relaxing tidbits :)
1. Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
(This one is great to teach nieces and nephews!)
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill.
(Even better to call after doing it and say you didn't authorize it and want to know what the hell is going on!)
3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
(This one keeps cats and men occupied for a while.)
4. When someone says "Have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.
(Like going the store to stock up on ammunition maybe?)
5. Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the check-out counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are.
(And if she's cute, always ask if assistance is available.)
6. Dance naked in front of your pets.
(Not recommended for anyone with a pet gorilla.)
7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards, and send him/her off to school as if nothing is wrong.
(You can get real more...
Stressed out...try some of these relaxing tidbits :)1. Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.(This one is great to teach neices and nephews!)2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill.(Even better to call after doing it and say you didn't authorize it and want to know what the hell is going on!)3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.(This one keeps cats and men occupied for awhile.)4. When someone says "Have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.(Like going the store to stock up on ammunition maybe?)5. Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the check-out counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are.(And if she's cute, always ask if assistance is available.)6. Dance naked in front of your pets.(Not recommended for anyone with a pet Gorilla.)7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards, and send him/her off to school as if nothing is wrong.(You can get real creative here...especially if you put a dress on your son.)8. Read the more...
What sort of an act do you do? I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth. Anything else? Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.
Paolo Esperanza, bass-trombonist with the Simphonica Mayor de Uruguay, in a misplaced moment of inspiration decided to make his own contribution to the cannon shots fired as part of the orchestra's performance of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture at an outdoor children's concert. In complete seriousness he placed a large, ignited firecracker, which was equivalent in strength to a quarter stick of dynamite, into his aluminum straight mute and then stuck the mute into the bell of his quite new Yamaha in-line double-valve bass trombone. Later, from his hospital bed he explained to a reporter through bandages on his mouth, "I thought that the bell of my trombone would shield me from the explosion and, instead, would focus the energy of the blast outward and away from me, propelling the mute high above the orchestra, like a rocket." However, Paolo was not up on his propulsion physics nor qualified to use high-powered artillery and in his haste to get the horn up before the firecracker more...