Grave Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"
    Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. The old man liked the fact he was feared.
    To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.
    Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life?"
    The wife put down her drink and said, "Let the old fart dig. I had him more...

    The grave of Karl Marx

    Hot 3 years ago

    The grave of Karl Marx is just another communist plot.

    Lawyer Joke

    Hot 3 weeks ago

    A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother.
    On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
    "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
    "The tombstone back there said,
    'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

    A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's
    grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car,
    the little girl asked,"Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same
    grave?"
    "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think
    that?" "The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest
    man.'"

    In the graveyard!

    Hot 1 year ago

    An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when one day the old woman died. The entire family showed up to the funeral.
    Every day after the funeral the old man would show up at the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out there. About two months later a priest saw the old man out there with his dog and decided to go talk to the old man.
    "Hello there. You know, we see you come out here every day to visit your wife's grave and we just think that so sweet. We were all wondering if the dog is something that was special to your wife since you always bring it out here with you."
    "No, actually I bring the dog out here to pee on the grave. I'd do it myself, but I'd get arrested for indecent exposure!"

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