Asses Jokes / Recent Jokes

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation.

The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following; "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, cool down lady," said the man. "Im just telling my friend how to spell Mississippi."

Two Italian men seated on the bus engage in animated conversation. Initially, the lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation, but she begins to listen in horror as she hears one of the men saying...
"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. Den I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. Den I come again and pee twice. Den I come once-a-more."
"You foul-mouthed pig!" the lady exclaims. "In this country, we don't speak about our sex lives in public."
"Coola down lady," the man says. "Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

What has four asses? Eight half assed politicians.

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they come together. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

Two Italians in the bus were having a rather loud conversation and the old lady seated behind them
was trying her best to ignore them. But she couldn't contain herself when she heard one of the guys say:

"First Emma come den I come, two asses both together, den I come, two asses together again and I come,
two pee, both together and I come again"
The old lady yelled, "You should be ashamed of yourself, talking of your sex lives in public!"
The guy replied,' Hey, coola downa lady, me justa tell my friend how to spella' Mississipi'!!"

Dear Friend;
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee for the raising
of $5, 000, 000. 00 for placing a statue of Bill Clinton in the Hall of Fame
in Washington, D. C.
This committee was in a quandary as to where to place the statue. It was
not wise to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never
told a lie, nor beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since
Bill Clinton could never tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest
democrat of all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know
where he was, and returned not knowing where he had been. And he did it
all on borrowed money.
Over 3, 000 years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your
shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised
land." Nearly 3, 000 years later Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels,
sit more...

A bus stops and two Asian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, cool down lady," said the man. "I'm just telling my friend how to spell Mississippi."