Asian Jokes / Recent Jokes

A jewish family walks into a asian restaurant. the little jewish son says to his dad, daddy what kind of jews are there? and the father goes well there a european jews, muslim jews, all kinds of jews son. and the little boy goes are there asian jews? so the father calls the waiter over and says sir would you happen to know if there are asian jews? and the waiter goes i will be right back, when he comes back he goes no sir we have apple jews and orange jews.

What happens to an Asian man who runs into a wall and has a full erection? He breaks his nose.

There's an Asian, an Hispanic, and a Black riding in a car. Who's driving? The cop

TEENAGE ASIAN GANGSTERS Your car probably looks like this by now. Wears a Buddha bracelet on wrist. Start smoking cigarettes by the age of 13. Wear some really baggy pants with a white logo T-shirt. Have either the typical Asian haircut with long dyed bangs or some slicked back hair. Still trying to lose virginity to some clueless babe. Kiss up to older gang members to increase rank. OLDER ASIAN GANGSTERS Sport a lot of gold jewelry to show off. Wear nice tight pants, with HK-Style See-Through Shirts. Been Smoking for at least 10 years. Still trying to lose virginity to some clueless babe. Tell stories about glorious past to younger gangsters. Treat the teenagers good so they can introduce you to young virgin girls. Living at home with parents, still! Slick back hair, or just regular Asian haircut. Show off with guns and drugs which actually belong to someone else. Hang out in gambling dens and massage parlors, but never do anything but watch the other people. LEADERS OF ASIAN GANGS more...

Be RICH. This is important for you, but not for her. For her the number two rule follows. Spend MONEY on HER. This is the most important thing for her, whether you are rich, have any money, or must lie, steal, or kill to do it. Be TALL. Of course you have no real control over this, but if you don't do it, she will secretly and forever resent you for it and it will come out of left field to smite you. Preferably be about one foot taller than her - not for comfort or aesthetics, but because you are a trophy and, as always, the bigger the better. Be a MINDLESS ZOMBIE RULED BY HER. Forget what you've heard about submissive Asian women. They actually rule every relationship with insidious and painful, passive-aggressive, guilt-evoking, whiny, crying mind-control. Have the EMOTIONAL STABILITY OF A 4-YEAR-OLD. She will be impressed and enraptured by your delight at the sight of Hello Kitty, stuffed animals, puppies, kitties, duckies, bunnies, as well as chocolates, shiny jewelry and other more...

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange for some real money (USD), so I went to the money exchange window at the local bank. It was a short line, with just one guy in front of me. He was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated.
In a thick accent, he asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday I get two hunat dolla fo yen - today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller says, "Fluctuations".
The Asian guy says, "Fluc you Americans too!"

A Mexican, an Asian, an African, and an American all somehow come across a genie at the same time. They rub the lamp and the genie pops out and agrees to grant them all one wish each. The genie turns to the Mexican and asks what he wished for.
"I wish that myself and all of my people could return to Mexico and live without poverty and wars."
With that, the Mexican disappeared. The genie then turns to the Asian and asks what he wished for.
"I wish that myself and all my people could go return to our countries in Asia and live in peace and happiness."
And the Asian disappears. The genie next asked the African what he would like.
"I wish that myself and all of my African Brothers and Sisters could return to our homelands in Africa and live in wealth and be bothered no more by the rest of the world."
With that, the African disappears. The genie turns to the American and asks what he wishes for.
"Before I make my wish, am I to more...