Among Jokes / Recent Jokes

A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation,
aggravation, and frustration.

Dad picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the
phone is answered he asks, "Can I speak to Alf, please?"

"No! There's no one called Alf here." The person hangs up.

"That's irritation," says Dad.

He picks up the phone again, dials the same number and asks for Alf
a second time.

"No -- there's no one here called Alf. Go away. If you call again
I shall telephone the police." End of conversation.

"That's aggravation."

"Then what's' frustration'?" asks his son.

The father picks up the phone and dials the same number for the third time:

"Hello, this is Alf. Have I received any phone calls?"

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas.
The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing various subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebra. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal cranial coverings, were about to take slumbrous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds there ascended such a more...

Night Before Christmas For Readers in their 23rd Year of Schooling' Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas. The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebra. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal cranial coverings, were about to take slumbrous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous more...

Technical Night Before Christmas' Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific title of St. Nicholas. The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconcious visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving rhythmically through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal had coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds more...

A family in Southern India was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from USA. It was sent by one of the daughters. The corpse was tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it! When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top, which read as follows:
Dear brothers and sisters,
I am sending our mother's body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral
home in Andhra. Sorry, I could not come along, as all of my paid leave has been consumed.
You will find inside the coffin, under Amma's body, 12 cans of cheese, 10 packets of chocolates and 5 packets of Badam. Please divide these among all of you. On Amma's feet, you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes(size 10) for Mohan. Also, there are 2 pairs of shoes for Radha's and Lakshmi's sons. Hope the sizes are correct.
Amma is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan and the others for my nephews. Just istribute them among more...

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the annual
Yuletide celebration and throughout our place of residence, kinetic activity
was not in evidence among the possessors of this potential, including that
species of diminutive rodent known as Mus musculus. Hosiery was
meticulously suspended from the forward edge of the wood-burning caloric
apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an imminent
visitation from an eccentric philanthropist among whose folkloric
appellations is the honorific title of St. Nick.

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their respective
accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious visual
hallucinations of variegated saccarinose fruit confections performing
choreography through their cerebrums. My conjugal partner and I, attired in
our nocturnal head-coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the
Arctic-like gloom when more...

Q: Did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes? A: It's called MAIDS - if they don't get one, they die.