Story of a Physics student who got the following question in an exam:
"You are given an accurate barometer, how would you use it to determine the height of a skyscraper? "
He answered: "Go to the top floor, tie a long piece of string to the barometer, let it down' till it touches the ground and measure the length of the string".
The examiner wasn't satisfied, so they decided to interview the guy:
"Can you give us another method, one which demonstrates your knowledge of Physics? "
"Sure, go to the top floor, drop the barometer off, and measure how long before it hits the ground......"
"Not, quite what we wanted, care to try again? "
"Make a pendulum of the barometer, measure its period at the bottom, then measure its period at the top......"
"..another try? ...."
"Measure the length of the barometer, then mount it more...
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on the shoulder. This evidently pissed the driver off enough that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why.
I drive 38 miles each way, every day, to work. That's 76 miles, of these, 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. So, if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper-to-bumper. I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically half of more...
* The term "bank teller" originated in the wake of the 1929 stock market crash, when banks began hiring low-paid workers to "tell" throngs of frantic depositors that their money was gone.
* Scandinavian berserkers used to cut out their eyes before battle to spare themselves the sight of the carnage they invariably wrought.
* The city of Slaughter, Texas (population: 11, 284), has never had a homicide occur within its boundaries.
* Rubbing Tabasco on one's upper lip before bedtime is an effective temporary cure for sleep apnea.
* British pop singer Baby Spice is the great-great-great-great-great-great-grandniece of Archduke William Pinkley-Hogue of Standishfordshire, making her 103rd in line for the throne of England.
* Moths are unable to fly during an earthquake.
* When in heat, female hippopotami secrete an oil with a flavor similar to strawberries. Kalahari bushmen use the oil to make flat-bread more...
Q: How would a blond punctuate the following?: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" A: Fun period fun period fun NO PERIOD worry worry worry!
is for Arteries.
You know, the things that your ex-girlfriend ripped out because she really didn't care for you you twit she was only after your money and could have given a shit about you.
is for Bitter. Who, me? No way. I really hope things between them do work out. I hope they get married and have 2 children that are little devils and her hips get huge and his eyebrows finally grow completely together and they get fat and old together and then DIE!!
is for Call ya later.She won't. She never has before.
is for Dumped. Does D need to be explained?
is for Eating like a pig. Remember when you took her out and she said "I'm not hungry" so you figured you could take her to a nice place because you were able to afford a nice meal at this fine restaurant. Then she ate more than your Uncle Roy (you remember Uncle Roy the one with the mustard stains on everything). So you flip the bill and are broke for the next two weeks and she more...