Alabama Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you hear about the Alabama Lottery? You can win $20 dollars every year for the next million years.
While touring the Southeast, a young ventriloquist stopped to entertain the folks in a bar in Alabama. As he was going through his usual dumb redneck jokes, a big burly guy in the audience jumped up and said threateningly, "I've heard just about enough of your smartass hillbilly jokes. We ain't all stupid here in Alabama, ya know."
The trembling ventriloquist began to apologize when the big guy interrupted him, "Stay outta this mister, I'm talkin' to the smartass little guy on your knee!"
A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"
"Ever go a fishin'?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.
"Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied.
The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever catch 'em all?"
What do you call foreplay in Alabama? 'Hey sis, you awake?'
Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper.
The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver says, "Why'd you do that?"
The trooper says, "You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true."
The passenger says, "Huh?"
The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say,' I wish that mother more...
Alabama leaped over Florida in the Top 25 AP Poll. Urban Meyer said he hasn't been treated this unfairly since his mom named him.