After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was
Enough (they could not afford a larger doublewide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy
that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a
cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a
beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man,
but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."
So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia
physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a
vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor
instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light more...
A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Shortly after he recovers from his an anesthetic his surgeon comes in and tells him: "Well, I've got good news and I've got bad news for you."
"Give me the bad news first, Doc." says the patient.
"I'm afraid that we accidentally cut your balls off during surgery, son."
"Oh my god!" the patient cries, breaking into tears.
"But the good news", the doctor adds, "is that we had them biopsied and you'll be relieved to know that they weren't malignant."
A couple were celebrating the birth of their first child, a son. After the party was over, the husband spoke to his wife:' My dear, I have a very modern outlook on the size of a family. I think one son is good enough for us. So if you don't mind, I would like to undergo a vasectomy. What do you think?'
'Do as you wish,' replied the wife coyly.' You have your vasectomy now, I'll have my hysterectomy after I have had the third child.'
Did you hear about the guy who got his vasectomy done at Sears? -Every time he gets a hard-on, the garage door goes up.
A patient was waiting in a pre-op room for his vasectomy. A nurse walked
in, lifted his robes, and gave him a blow job. The patient exclaimed:
"Hey, that was great, but why?" The nurse responded: "The doctor likes
your tubes to be flushed prior to the operation." As the patient was being
wheeled into the operating room, he noticed other patients masturbating.
He asked the attendant why they were doing this. The attendent replied
that they, too, were about to have vasectomies. The patient then inquired
why he got a blow job, while they had to masturbate. "Simple," said the
attendant. "They have HMO, while you have Blue Cross."