Agency Jokes / Recent Jokes

It seems that Abe and Morey, two salesmen for an advertising agency, were traveling together through the midwest, when they were caughtbetween towns during a driving snow storm.The further they went, the worse conditions got, and they finallyslid off into a ditch. Fortunately there was a house quite nearby.They waded through the drifts to the house, and after a shortconversation with the lady who answered the door, they were able toconvince her that they were no danger to her, and she let them come in.She prepared a meal for them, and during the conversation Abe andMorey learned that she was a widow of a few years standing.Conditions continued to deteriorate, and she prepared the guest roomfor Abe and Morey.The next day about 10:00 AM, a snowplow came through and helpfullypulled the salesmen's car our of the ditch, after cleaning the road.Abe and Morey thanked th widow Brown and went on their rounds.Nine months later, Abe called Morey, and asked if Morey had, by somechance, happened more...

The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavianair defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfallwhile the jet was on a bombing run. The plane crashed intoan empty field, creating a huge crater. Serbian search andrescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, provingthat NATO is using Albanian men, women and children terroriststo wage their war of terror from the sky.

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Hunter Shot to Death By a Fox, Belgrade, Associated PressA fox shot and killed a 38-year-old hunter in central Yugoslavia, the official Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported yesterday.Salih Hajdur, a farmer from the village of Gornje Hrasno in the Republic of Bosnia-Hercegovina, went to a nearby forest Sunday to shoot a fox, Tanjug said.Hajdur wounded a fox in the leg, the agency said, but to spare the skin he did not fire again. Instead, he hit the animal with his refle butt. The struggling animal triggered a shot that hit Hajdur in the chest and killed him instantly, Tanjug said. The fox died later, Tanjug added.

Marketing is a foreign language unto itself:
GM cars: Originally sold in Belgium using the slogan, "Body by Fisher," which translated as "Corpse by Fisher."
The Jotter: A pen made by Parker. In some Latin countries, jotter is slang for "jockstrap."
Puffs tissues: In Germany, puff is slang for "whorehouse."
Cue toothpaste: Marketed in France by Colgate-Palmolive until they learned that Cue is also the name of a popular pornographic magazine.
Schweppes Tonic Water: The company changed the name from Schweppes Tonic Water to Schweppes Tonica when they learned that in Italian, "il water" means "the bathroom."
The Ford Caliente: Marketed in Mexico, until Ford found out "caliente" is slang for "streetwalker." Ford changed the name to S-22.
The Rolls-Royce Silver Myst: In German, mist means "human waste." (Clairol's Mist Stick curling iron had the same problem.)
Laying more...

The elderly man entered the car agency together with his young wife. The owner of the agency spotted the couple and went over to wait upon them himself. He could not help staring at the lady, which, of course, the elderly man noticed.

"May I propose a wager," he said. "If you can do everything to my wife that I can do and still end up the same way as I do, I will pay you double for the car. But if you cannot, you will give it to me for free!"

"OK, agreed!"

The elderly man gave his wife a passionate kiss and the agency owner did the same. Then the man unbuttoned her blouse and kissed her breasts. So did the agency owner. Then the husband opened his fly, pulled out his pecker and bent it in half.

"What color car do you want?" asked the agency owner.

A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "Id like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise? The second blonde replies, " They didnt last year."

As reported by the Brockton Enterprise, Friday, August 14, 1998

"Bride finds groom-to-be in bed with best man"

ATHENS-

Greek machismo has suffered a below-the-belt blow in Crete, where a bride-to-be was hospitalized with "severe shock" after discovering her groom in bed with his best man on the eve of their wedding.

A policeman in Heraklion said the story had sent shock waves through the island, where the groom has gone into hiding. "What was really upsetting for her was that he was wearing her wedding dress when she caught him in their own bed," he said. "Her family has sworn revenge if they ever find him."

The Athens news agency that carried the report said the couple had decided to tie the knot after a turbulent relationship and the wedding date was set for last Saturday. The bride-to-be stumbled upon her fiance and his best man after friends asked her to take them to the couple's home more...