200 Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day there were two guys at a bar when the bar man goes i’ll give you $200 if you bring me an indians head the two guy’s ask why? and the bar tender says well they burnt down my house and killed my family so the two guys goout get a hack saw and find a indian they throw a rock at him and start cutting his head off then one of the guys turn around and he saw all these indians on the hills behind him he tapped the other guy on the shoulder the guy did’nt move so he tapped him on the soulder again the guy says what?
The guy goes LOOK the guy goes were gonna be rich.
A long New Orleans style funeral procession passes by, but instead of a jazz band, it’s lead by a man walking a lion. Behind the coffin walk at least 200 people. A bystander asks the man, “What’s going on? ”
“My lion ate my lawyer and this is his funeral, ” is the reply.
“Could I borrow your lion? ” asks the bystander. “I’ve got a lawyer I’d like to have eaten. ”
“Sorry, but you’ll have to get at the end of that line, ” said the man, pointing to the 200 people following the coffin.
Customer: Hi. How much is your paint?
Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.
Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?
Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have 60 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.
Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint. Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?
Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off. Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint. Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?
Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks. But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday.
Customer: You've got to be *&%^#@* kidding!
Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.
Customer: You more...
An employee walks into the Accounts office and says "What is the meaning of this. I have been paid $200 less than what was decided upon."
The Accountant replies "I know about it, but you did not complain when we paid $200 extra by mistake last month."
The employee snaps back "Yeah, I can bear with occasional mistakes but when you make it a habit I think I need to report."
A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200. 00. Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it. Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer. The farmer says, "Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199. 00?"The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1. 00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, "It's $1. 00 per word." The brunette thinks about this and says,"Comfortable, write that.""Comfortable?" the guy questions."Yes, you see she reads slow."
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE! !" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
" Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that`s a bit steep, isn`t it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what`s your third question?" &