101 Jokes / Recent Jokes

A new two year degree is being offered at Life University... Becoming a Real Man! That's right, in just six terms, you too can be a real man. Please take a moment to look over the program outline: FIRST YEARAutumn ScheduleMEN 101... Combating StupidityMEN 102... You too can do houseworkMEN 103... PMS - Learn when to keep your mouth shutMEN 104... We do not want sleazy underthings for ChristmasWinter ScheduleMEN 110... Wonderful Laundry TechniquesMEN 111... Understanding the female responses to getting in at 4 a. m. MEN 112... Parenting: It doesn't end with conceptionMEN 113... Get a life, learn to cookSpring ScheduleMEN 120... How NOT to act like an asshole when you're wrongMEN 121... Understanding your incompetenceMEN 122... You, the weaker sexMEN 123... Reasons to give flowersSECOND YEARAutumn ScheduleSEX 101... You CAN fall asleep without itSEX 102... Morning Dilemma: If it's awake, take a showerMEN 201... How to stay awake after sexMEN 202... How to put the toilet seat downWinter more...

We do not advise following any of the below driving rules to any extent. Driving should be taken seriously at all times. The below jokes are simply here for entertainment purposes.
When using a metered entrance ramp, vehicles in the carpool lane do not need to stop. Similarly, vehicles NOT in the diamond lane also do not need to stop.
If, at any time, you have witnessed a green light, it is okay to proceed through the intersection, regardless of the current color of the light.
The shoulder becomes a lane if you are driving a Porsche.
If you paid more than $60, 000 for your car, you automatically have the right of way, regardless of the situation. This is especially applicable in parking lots.
Drive as quickly as possible through parking structures. Pass any open spot by at least four car lengths before backing up to claim it. Disregard the angry mob that has formed behind you.
Get to know your horn. Use it as often as possible.
While driving on the more...

99 little bugs in the code,
99 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
101 little bugs in the code.
101 little bugs in the code,
101 bugs in the code,
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code.

99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 101 little bugs in the code. 101 little bugs in the code, 101 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 103 little bugs in the code.

MORE REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES:

1. Juggling Knives is Easy
2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven
3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things
4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want
5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase
6. 101 Games to Play in the Road
7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher
8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork
9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games
10. Arthur Gets Hunted
11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi
12. Monsters Killed Grandpa
13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs. Clause is your real Mom
14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul
15. All Guns Squirt Water
16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street
17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite
18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain
19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish
20. 101 recipies more...