101 Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    We do not advise following any of the below driving rules to any extent. Driving should be taken seriously at all times. The below jokes are simply here for entertainment purposes.
    When using a metered entrance ramp, vehicles in the carpool lane do not need to stop. Similarly, vehicles NOT in the diamond lane also do not need to stop.
    If, at any time, you have witnessed a green light, it is okay to proceed through the intersection, regardless of the current color of the light.
    The shoulder becomes a lane if you are driving a Porsche.
    If you paid more than $60, 000 for your car, you automatically have the right of way, regardless of the situation. This is especially applicable in parking lots.
    Drive as quickly as possible through parking structures. Pass any open spot by at least four car lengths before backing up to claim it. Disregard the angry mob that has formed behind you.
    Get to know your horn. Use it as often as possible.
    While driving on the more...

    A new two year degree is being offered at Life University... Becoming a Real Man! That's right, in just six terms, you too can be a real man. Please take a moment to look over the program outline: FIRST YEARAutumn ScheduleMEN 101... Combating StupidityMEN 102... You too can do houseworkMEN 103... PMS - Learn when to keep your mouth shutMEN 104... We do not want sleazy underthings for ChristmasWinter ScheduleMEN 110... Wonderful Laundry TechniquesMEN 111... Understanding the female responses to getting in at 4 a. m. MEN 112... Parenting: It doesn't end with conceptionMEN 113... Get a life, learn to cookSpring ScheduleMEN 120... How NOT to act like an asshole when you're wrongMEN 121... Understanding your incompetenceMEN 122... You, the weaker sexMEN 123... Reasons to give flowersSECOND YEARAutumn ScheduleSEX 101... You CAN fall asleep without itSEX 102... Morning Dilemma: If it's awake, take a showerMEN 201... How to stay awake after sexMEN 202... How to put the toilet seat downWinter more...

    99 little bugs in the code,
    99 bugs in the code,
    Fix one bug, compile it again,
    101 little bugs in the code.
    101 little bugs in the code,
    101 bugs in the code,
    Fix one bug, compile it again,
    103 little bugs in the code.

    99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 101 little bugs in the code. 101 little bugs in the code, 101 bugs in the code, Fix one bug, compile it again, 103 little bugs in the code.

    MORE REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES: 1. Juggling Knives is Easy2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase6. 101 Games to Play in the Road7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub, a Blowdryer, and a Fork9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games10. Arthur Gets Hunted11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi12. Monsters Killed Grandpa13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs. Clause is your real Mom14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul15. All Guns Squirt Water16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish20. 101 recipies to make with Dog21. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree22. The New Boy is Bad23. Your more...

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